To say that photo represents me in the morning would not be inaccurate. Me and morning have never been best friends. I got kinda better about mornings in the year or so before I met Craig and then when I first met him. But I was only kinda more friendly with morning because it was a time in my life when I was feeling so happy and energetic that I didn’t need as much sleep as I always have.
And by always, I mean always. Ask my mother. She’ll tell you that I slept over eight hours the first night home from the hospital. I slept so well and so regularly when I was a newborn that they, very young parents, were worried and took me to the doctor, who basically said, “CONGRATULATIONS!”
But then Craig came along and worked crazy hours and even now gets up at about 4:30 (AM!) to have time for coffee and the gym before starting work at 6:15 AM. He is a freaking morning person, for sure. Though he’ll weirdly deny that.
With his crazy hours, my own schedule got so thrown off that I no longer know what the heck I am. I know I do not like falling asleep before 11, that’s for sure.
Add in the pandemic and then Peony’s death and me and sleep have resorted back to kinda frenemies, not to mention how much worse morning has gotten.
Something had to change. I kept putting it off but I knew the answer. I just didn’t want to face and DO the answer. Let’s back up.
Neurodivergence and routines and change
I’ve wanted a new morning routine because I knew it affected the rest of my day.
Pre-Craig, I would get up and immediately take a shower and then sit and read and write and meditate/pray a bit. This worked beautifully and led to the rest of my day flowing naturally and easily from that start. I had kinda… monasticized my life.
Here’s another part of the equation: my weird brain has a hard time getting started. Whether it be the day or a project or whatever… getting started is hard.
YET routine is super important to my weird brain.
OY! I was caught in this kind of loop of not getting started and needing new routines to get started but not being able to start new routines.
TikTok to the Rescue
One of my favorite areas of TikTok is the neurodivergent creators. SO HELPFUL.
And I kept hearing about this concept of “body doubling.”
I also came upon the concept of “catalyst.” It’s how a different sort of brain needs something to get it started and that’s unique for everyone and figuring that out is key.
AH-HA Moment
I awoke with a start: OTHER PEOPLE ARE MY CATALYST!
Yep… duh.
Feeling responsible to other people (in the good way) is what makes me Do the Things.
This also incorporates body doubling. Just sitting with someone else while they write, for example, gets me writing.
A Free Zoom Group is Born and You Can Join
I put out a call. Was there anyone else who was struggling with a new morning routine, whether that mean starting your day with writing, art, meditation, movement, reading, whatever.
A few people said YES, PLEASE, and so we started.
I cannot overemphasize how profoundly this has impacted my life from moment one.
It works. Period.
I get up because I have to shower before I get on zoom and then I get everything ready and start the meeting at 8 AM. I wait until 8:05 and then we all go mute (you can also not have your camera on).
And we work. Together. But silently.
Until about 8:30 when I call time. (This is Eastern time.)
And from there, my day just GOES. I have gotten more done in the couple of days we’ve been doing this than probably the last MONTH.
I move more. I write more. My brain feels way more cooperative. I am getting downloads of ideas again. I’m reading more.
If you want in, just give me a yell.
OH! And during my reading the first day, I came upon this quote. We’re not a “buddhist community” but you get it:
“This involvement in a Buddhist community is invaluable to anyone wishing to take his or her practice seriously, and life as a Buddhist can be very difficult without regular contact with such a Sangha.”
Amen. Life as a human can be very difficult without regular contact with such a devoted and compassionate community.