When I do one on one work with people, it can look about a million ways, but one thing stays consistent: Homework.
Mostly, I listen to you. I’m listening for experiments that you can run to get more into your body, to become more aware of what you really need, to take better care of yourself.
This can be something simple like taking the typical two weeks between our sessions to really notice what tastes good. Or to set up some mini altar to pay attention to a particular aspect of yourself every day for a few minutes.
Recently during a one on one, it was a question that came to me that I then told my client to ask herself every time she was starting to feel uncomfortable in a situation or with a person.
Or you can even use this question as you enter any new situation or encounter any person any time. It could become a really great habit, actually.
This question won’t necessarily create word based answers, and that’s the point of it.
This question will most likely create instant body based reactions like sick tummy, butterflies, a feeling of wanting to run, or maybe warmth and peace.
HERE:
Is my little self feeling safe and taken care of here/with this person?
It helps if you have a specific “little self” in mind. I use the one in this photo. Look at that silly/happy/open face. She’s my perfect go-to wise woman.
Now I know that a lot of my students experienced awful trauma, even at a very young and tender age, but that actually doesn’t matter with this question.
This question will STILL help you tap into your wise and knowing self. It will tap into the part of you that even at that young age knew what and who was wrong and bad and unsafe. It will tap into that part of you that even at that young age was developing coping mechanisms to protect themselves.
Ask the question and slow your breathing and keep asking it until your answer becomes clear.
The second part here is important…
THEN ask your ADULT self, what do I need to do to take care of this little self in this context, relative to their answer to that first question.
Because it’s your adult self that that little self was waiting for all along. You can do this.