Today I went to the edge of our lake to breathe and think for a few moments. There were a couple of other people on the same beach, but they were well far away from me. Then as I was just starting to think about leaving, the man to my left started to move in my direction.
I must have looked like a flushed deer. I skittered and quickened all the while trying not to look like I was running. (I am teasing myself here so feel free to laugh.)
He yelled from behind me (well beyond 6 feet…too many feet for me to estimate), “Have a good day!” in a friendly and slightly amused voice. I waved to him and smiled, trying to convey, “Sorry… I’m not ACTUALLY crazy… just for right now.”
On my way home, I saw kids at the local ice cream eatery that opens on April 1st on the peninsula (locals know who I’m talking about) and they were working, setting things up, but a few were on break, in little huddles, chatting and laughing. HOW COULD THEY? was my immediate thought.
At a corner drugstore, 3 bikers in leather, smoking, stood within inches of each other talking and I had to work very hard not to yell out my window, “SIX FEET, IDIOTS!” (Yep…)
This is where many of us are right now… paranoid and scared and overwhelmed and so very anxious, tempers probably shorter than ever (at least in my case).
Because… we are social animals, regardless of introvert/extrovert distinctions.
…we need human touch to thrive.
…we need to be witnessed by other humans directly on a regular basis (hello, mirror neurons).
…we need to feel SAFE in our environments to create anything of real meaning over the long haul.
…and speaking of safety, so many of us feel truly triggered by the AnxiousAir we are breathing, feeding old anxieties and traumas and bringing many such things back from the dead where we had worked hard to relegate them.
Social distancing to our social animal selves is not easy. Period. We hunger for life to feel more normal, to not feel like there is a TIGER outside our door every time we need to go get food.
In the meantime, I’m trying to think of this more as social spacing.
Distancing feels too hard, too cold.
Spacing… okay… my personal space is definitely bigger than it is usually treated even when we’re not in this kind of situation so I can deal with that language.
Distancing, though, can easily become our reality if we allow it.
So try some of the following:
Check in with people who live alone. They are very vulnerable right now. Message, zoom, whatever.
Use all the tech we have for GOOD. Create Skype parties. Or SALONS… as in the old use of that word, people coming together to have meaningful discussions. Play games!
Get outside. Even if you have to look nuttily protective of your barriers like me.
Make sure you’re moving every day. There are so many resources online for this. Including me. ((ha))
Try to feed your body like you love it… our immunity is so tied to how we eat.
Maybe write letters to loved ones! Actual letters!
Spend time every day in a quiet space in your mind and recognize what is GOOD.
Light candles and send out prayers. People always mock this as silly and unhelpful (I have strong opinion about why that is NOT true…), but we are all connected AND it can help us to feel not quite so powerless.
Do you have anything you’d add to this list?