We could blame it on COVID, but I think it goes back before that to a certain person coming down a golden escalator. Cruelty suddenly became the norm in public discourse in a way we’d never experienced before. Our highest political leader who is supposed to, at the very least, exhibit high levels of decorum was suddenly behaving like the schoolyard bully. There seem(ed) to be no more rules and people who had been hiding their meanness, all of their ignorant bigotries, were given permission to show it all very loudly and proudly.
When people so clearly show you who they are, believe them, right?
Blaming this on the golden escalator moment can seem inaccurate. This country has had a veneer of nice over mean and violent for, well, its entire history.
But this felt and feels different. It was/has been a definite sort of flashpoint.
We often talk about “those people” and don’t recognize what living in this shit stew has done to the rest of us, because it has done something and I’m noticing it more and more during this god awful second administration from hell.
People who consider themselves openminded and compassionate are losing their capacity to hold difficult things for others. (And I am seeing this absolutely everywhere.)
Yes, we’re overwhelmed. We all are. But to lose this particular muscle — to atrophy these capacities — is a sign of some sort of larger death that we cannot afford.
A lot of people are making their circles smaller when they should be making them bigger.
A lot of people are laying down to rest when we should be working on becoming warriors of distance and depth. We need our best selves right now, not some diminished and exhausted version.
I am exhausted; most of us are exhausted. But like a distance athlete, we must push through and find the next level of energy. We must take better care of ourselves so we can build the muscles necessary to meet these moments, because these moments are likely going to get harder, not easier in the near future.
I have no answers but I want to start the discussion. I want us to notice.