And the concept of devotion can come from the most unexpected places

It’s not that I don’t expect the idea of or a demonstration of devotion to pop up from just about any human, but it still can surprise me where and through whom these messages can come at me.

This week I started teaching again at the residential addiction facility in my neighborhood. I had stopped for a wee bit, because their census was down and there were some fears around the current federal government cutting them off because the program is a welfare based one.

But alas, their census is back up and they seem okay (for now), so I am back, teaching my wacky (as you know) blend of all things yoga, breath, primal movement, and somatic dance (basic principles sort of stuff).

And we chat a bit, because it’s important for community, for them to feel they can trust me, and for me to suss out what they really need (as opposed to just giving them prepackaged yoga like the teacher before me).

Some of these men have been kicked down by life over and over again and they keep getting up and they keep trying and for that reason I find them a source of true inspiration.

They own their mistakes; they face their demons; they are working so hard with the intention of becoming the best versions of themselves. And they take beautiful emotional care of each other. I get to witness that fact time after time.

There are a lot of people in this world that are “functional” addicts of one kind or another and they float through life never facing themselves like these men do.

But there was one new student in particular who really demonstrates what hard work looks like.

Besides the daily schedule of meetings and therapy and work that they all are put on, he gets up every day between 4:30 and 5 so that he can spend time in prayer and then spiritual reading. He then goes outside and does stretching and body weight work for an hour before entering into the house’s daily schedule. He also gets outside around lunch and dinner to do some more of the same.

He understands the inextricable link between how he treats his body and how his mind is going to function or not in the world. And he is living that understanding.

I see my previous self in him. The depth of understanding of the need for this work plus the fear of what would happen if we were to stop and so the doing.

But I did stop. And my fears were warranted.

I still am only really moving when I teach. Luckily I teach enough to maintain a baseline of okay-ness but it’s not even good much less great… like I used to feel.

And of course the external circumstances of our lives right now could drive even the most mentally healthy into depression and anxiety. If you’re paying attention at all to the horrors of what’s happening, no matter your own stability, there is so much energy that needs to be spent every day just to survive this.

So again, for those of us who already struggle with our mental health, things are definitely bad. Really bad. There’s much that is simply out of our hands.

But I think this new student of mine would say that even then… even when there’s a lot that’s out of your hands… there’s still so much that is. There’s still so much that we can control, that we can work with.

I’m not going to suddenly revert to my most healthy self after this wee interaction with this human, but it’s one more bit of… inspiration, one more bit of hope, one more breadcrumb to follow.

An invitation to a 40 day sadhana

You know I'm no longer a "practicing Catholic," nor am I really any kind of practicing anything at this point. But Lent has always spoken to me DEEPLY.

And through some conversations with a dear friend from Chicago, we came to agree that going into Lent consciously and with open hearts was something we both needed.

And I thought maybe others would need it to.

I see Lent as a period of entering the dark spaces in our own minds and hearts. Not to immediately get rid of that darkness but to be with it... to ask it questions... to learn from it... to simply sit with it and allow those spaces of fear and sadness and rage and grief to simply have safe space to BE.

So I will have my Fat Tuesday donut later today and then I will enter into this journey.

I am open to being surprised. I am open to the idea of feeling some sort of faith again.

I will be reading the two books (see photo) during my morning tarot and intention/contemplation time.

And I will do periodic check-ins in the Circle of Trees to see how everyone is. (If you’re not in the Trees, just go to that link and ask to be added.)

And perhaps you would like to share an intention for this 40 day sadhana via email or in the Trees.

It's not just for you

Preface: I’m really struggling with depression and despair, as I’m sure a lot are. I’m triggered by the cruelty of the current government every day. And I’m stuck in some really toxic mindsets that are not good for me or the people around me. I know what I need to do but my motivation muscle is just… flaccid. And yesterday I think I found how to restrengthen it…

Yesterday a treester and I were having a bit of a chat via messenger, and she said she went for a short walk and I told her that she should be proud of herself for that. Then she said something that she doesn't know actually changed my brain a bit... She said she did it after reading my post about my depression because she believes in the ripple effects of our actions.

Um... CLICK went the puzzle piece.

When I started to dance again at 40, it was FOR/in HONOR OF a friend who had passed away too young and without fully embracing his artist's life. Every time I felt whiny about dancing -- which inevitably made me feel so much more joyful -- I would think of him.

And THERE IS THE COMMUNITY SECRET.

We are all connected. Humans are mirroring animals. We are made FOR EACH OTHER. And so any actions we take that are totally based in "FOR ME"... well, for most of us who are loving and compassionate humans ... that's not going to necessarily work long term.

I remembered I do my best work in this world when I am doing it for/with others. Period.

So now I have a note on my phone that goes off at 8:30 AM every day that says: FOR .... and lists a bunch of names.

To remind me that my life is not just about me.

To remind me that my actions have ripple effects.

To remind me that my calling is higher than myself.

I don't expect things to instantly and totally change over night but I can FEEL IN MY BONES that this was that motivation I was looking for.

REMINDER: If you are in need of more community that is healthy, safe, and supportive and also, well, free, you can request to join the Circle of Trees on Facebook.

(BELOW: a video from my long weekend workshop. I thought this wave experiment was perfect for a post about doing for and with others.)

Growing our community muscles has to be a priority

From a recent local class.

Let me start by saying that a lot of us have grown, over our lives, complacent about community building. We tend to participate in communities that are convenient and easy.

This has been especially true since the pandemic, from which we learned to isolate more and more. Of course, this was necessary in terms of 3D human encounters to protect us all, but many of us gave up altogether even in the face of tools that could have kept our community muscles a bit more healthy.

So we enter into next week, into a new and potentially damaging paradigm, leaning again into isolation.

This won’t do.

Not if we want the coming years to be at all safe for women and marginalized humans. We can’t just sink into our aloneness and stay at home watching television and judge the world as it burns from our comfortable front windows.

We must commune with likeminded humans. We must build trust and companionship because that’s the foundation of the work that will call to us.

We must build this trust and companionship via shared story (and truth) telling.

We must embody this trust and companionship.

I’m convinced that this cannot only all be done in 3D but also if we are far away from one another via the very tools that many want to use to hurt us.

Tools are only as good as their users… whether this be the maps of religions or tech tools or hammers or communication.

And we must not desert these very powerful tools to those who would use them for evil. (Yes, evil.)

I will be staying, for example, on Facebook because it has a free private group function that no one else offers. I can use that to grow community.

But beyond that, I am staying because I will not let these spaces be taken over by hateful voices. I will be a compassionate voice. I will fight for the space that has given me so much.

And I will, of course, continue to teach online via zoom. The community that has grown in those classes since the start of the pandemic is as beautiful and deep and solid as any community in 3D that I am a part of. To say otherwise is to demean our basic, DNA level need and capacity to connect to one another regardless of circumstances.

So I come to you with two things.

If you’re not in the Circle of Trees on Facebook, ask me to add you.

Here’s a quick take on what goes on in there: It's a space where people feel really safe to share challenges -- and joys. We talk a lot about neurodivergence/neurospicy brains, and mental health, and of course. somatic/healing movement. The support in this space and the kindness and compassion are indescribable.

And as always, I have classes starting. They start next week, the week of the inauguration.

I, like most of you I assume, am grieving that inauguration, but I know, too, that I can’t stay stuck in grief, and being in somatic dance spaces with other humans is how I take care of my emotional and mental health so that I can be strong for myself and everyone around me.

You can register for Peony Somatic Dance classes right now.

Don’t hide. Don’t disappear. We need every single one of our voices out in this world. Now more than ever.