That toolbox would be better if there were glitter but it’s pretty good…
This post is a rewrite of a post that I wrote on Blisschick many years ago and it popped up in my memories the other day and I thought… oh! that’s good.
AND I think this stuff is needed more than ever. So here we go.
I think I came up with the two most important tools that you need in your happiness toolbox.
First, I’ve been doing a shit ton of thinking about compassion and how we apply it not just to the world but to ourselves.
To ourselves.
I think we miss that part all too often.
This all seems very obvious, but every day we make decisions lacking compassion. We make decision based on some sense of right and wrong which is based on someone’s arbitrary rules about those things.
Rules can be dangerous weapons if they are not changed to fit each and every individual and situation. #ExperimentofOne
But if in every single situation, we apply the tool of compassion, we will see just how fluid our rules have to become.
And here is the first tool: in our lives, compassion should always be our guiding compass.
A compass will point true north.
And isn’t true north where our highest self resides? There is no confusion, no sense of righteousness; there is just love and compassion.
When you think you have been wronged, pull out this compass and see where it guides you. (And really, the most compassionate act might be that it guides you away from whomever wronged you.)
When you think you can know another’s heart, another’s experience of their own life, and thus judge it, pull out this compass and see where it guides you.
But again, do not forget: when you feel you are being at all mean to yourself, pull out this compass.
When you hear those freaking gremlins in your head, check your compass.
Being compassionate to ourselves has a lot to do with balance. When we are balanced — meaning getting the things we need — we treat ourselves with love and kindness and those things are then easier to extend to others.
Remember, though, that “balance” is not a static thing; it must be fluid.
This brings to mind an image from my childhoood:
A level. I can see my small hands carrying it around and just laying it on random things and watching that bubble move and waiting for it to land. There’s that exact center but there is some leeway.
Leeway /li:wei/ noun. Freedom of action within set limits; room allowed for this; a safety margin (Oxford English Dictionary)
Isn’t that a perfect description of how balance should function in our lives? We aren’t building a house here but a life so aiming for this space and not always hitting it exactly is good enough.
There is freedom of action but also set limits.
The level in my toolbox tells me I really need to MOVE every single day.
But… I can miss a day occasionally and get right back to it the next. I can do 40 minutes one day and ten the next and 75 the next, depending on what kind of day I am having and what my body is needing.
To keep my mind healthy there are a whole list of things I “should” do every single day but there is a safety margin to all of it. Little bits count. Not too many misses in a row matter.
A compass and a level. Those are the main tools in my glitter box.
Yours?