Force versus joyful challenge

A little backstory

You know I started going to Orange Theory because I needed a serious kick in the ass when it came to my commitment/devotion to movement. I needed something outside my usual box. I needed an environment that helped me to do the thing, and Orange Theory covered all the bases.

If I signed up for a class and missed it, it cost me money, so I was always motivated to get out of bed and freaking go. When I got there, the music was fun and I didn’t need to think about anything because the coaches just tell you want to do. It was the perfect blend to keep me working harder than I had in a couple of years.

Let me emphasize this: I did need this to get me moving in the right direction.

And enter: Force

But one of my defaults is to push too hard. I have to watch for it, because it can happen so easily and so suddenly and I can justify it to the moon and back.

Eventually I was going to Orange Theory four times a week. On top of teaching a lot and doing other classes for my Yoga Teacher Training and playing tennis.

I was exhausted all of the time and “couldn’t figure out why.” ((hahahahaha))

I can be slow. ((even bigger laughter))

Eventually I figured it out. I cut my Orange Theory back to twice (and often once) a week. I almost quit altogether but I really do like the community there and have made some friends, and I figure in the winter, I’ll go more.

But that’s not the point of this post.

What’s wrong with force?

Isn’t force just big willpower? Lots of trying? It can be… I guess.

I think force comes into positive play when, for example, I’m deep in depression. If I can manage to force myself to do the things I do not want to do, well, it’s really a sign of hope, right? That kind of force shows that my willpower brain isn’t totally broken yet by the depression and that I am going to be able to drag my ass out of it (yet again).

But often force is just a sort of self inflicted violence.

When we work with force in our bodies, we’re definitely (most often) disconnected from our bodies. They’re a thing that we’re trying to change or contort. A lot of times, movement in this context is pure punishment.

This creates a toxic internal environment on the chemical level.

When we approach change from this kind of force, we’re stressing the nervous system, releasing cortisol, and keeping the body in a dysregulated state.

Change will not come in this state.

Your body is going to work against you, mistaking you for the enemy. Or not mistaking you… because when you’re treating yourself like this, you actually kinda are the enemy.

So what about joyful challenge?

The body knows the difference. Period. Your state of mind is different and so you’re more likely to create the joyful chemical stew in the brain that your body needs for healthy change.

If you approach your movement from a place of play and curiosity and experimentation, you are not working from punishment.

This is the state that regulates the nervous system. It’s from this state, that you’re clear on your motivations and they’re of the healthy variety.

When I’m working with force, my motivations are definitely aesthetic. That’s poison for me.

When I’m working from joy, my motivations are all about my mental health. That is my sweet spot. And most humans’, for that matter.

When we work from joy, compassion, and care, we’re not not challenging ourselves. It just is healthy challenge. It’s sustainable challenge.

The results

Since I’ve recalibrated my movement practices back to joyful and devoted, I already have noticed the kinds of changes I really need:

• I have more energy, of course. Because I’m not killing myself in the name of, again, aesthetics.

• I am getting stronger and more balanced by the day because I have more energy to work harder when I am working. I’m not just dragging myself through my practices and hoping for the end.

• I am happier. This is the big one. This is why I do the work I do — for myself and for others. It’s always been about mental health for me.

I’ve worked really hard to overcome disordered eating and body hatred from my youth but they can still pop up. It takes constant vigilance, and even then, it can be so easy to slip back into old habits.

We teach what we need. I learn that over and over and over.

JoyMoves: Stop with the efficiency!

When I wrote Blisschick starting, god, what? 18 years ago?!?!, I challenged myself to post 7 days a week for a full year (which I did and then I transitioned to five days a week and kept that up for quite a long time). To help with this challenge, I created categories for each day so that I had a built-in prompt for myself.

I’ve decided to do that here, so Mondays are JoyMoves day. You’ll see as we go what comes next. ((coy))

Mondays are for biomechanics, body stuff, relevant research that I come across, my own teaching materials, etc. You get it.

TODAY I want to talk about something that Dr. Susan Burwash (OT) wrote a bit about in a comment in the Sanctuary: efficiency and how she has come to realize that spending so many decades aiming toward efficiency of movement has led to… LESS MOVEMENT.

Of course, right? But we don’t see it until we see it.

Katy Bowman has written a ton about this, of course, and how modern conveniences, or any kind of convenience regardless of when it was developed, and our ideas of comfort are just things that have stolen a ton of fundamental human movement from our lives and inserted a lot of pain. (Her newest book is a great reminder for those of us who have been following her for a long time or a great intro if you’re new to her.)

Most of us end up working jobs to pay for those conveniences and comforts from a place of… convenience and comfort. You know… desk jockeys.

I’ve talked about this for years but there are simple ways we can start moving this particular needle and I would love to hear ideas from all of you, so I’ll start a tiny list:

• Park farther away from the store you’ve driven to;

• If you can, walk or ride a bike for errands;

• Don’t try to carry every single grocery bag in from the car in one trip — do multiple trips;

• Same for getting things from different parts of the house — don’t try to do it all at once;

• If you can, hang clothes out in the summer months (all that reaching overhead!);

• Spend time washing some dishes by hand (there’s nothing quite like the meditation of it if you can slow down and just enjoy the process);

• Do things SLOWER (this is a big theme for me that last few years as I’m sure you’ve noticed): walk slower, move from task to task slower, eat slower, etc.;

• Squat for a bit (you can do this assisted by a yoga block under your bum; it still “counts”) when you’re watching TV;

• Stretch when you’re watching TV;

• DO SOMETHING with your body if you’re watching TV (I lift weights and do pilates and some fundamental joint work);

• Find ways to fidget when you do have to be seated at a desk (bounce your legs, for example);

• Have an adjustable desk and make sure to spend time in different positions (even just changing your seat counts);

• Take stairs when they’re available instead of elevators and escalators.

Okay… your turn. You can respond to this or write me a note on Facebook… but I would love more ideas!

End of the Year Session and A New Drop In Option

The last session of the year for classes is a November/December, six week session with weeks off at the end of December.

I’ve replaced the usual Tuesday/Thursday Quickie with Quickie BalletOm, which some of you may remember taking with me at various places. It’s a 30 minute version.

There’s a Tuesday and/or Thursday Peony Method.

Go here for registration and more information.

But there’s something new that I’ve not done in FOREVER:

Drop in opportunity...

I don't usually do drop ins, but after last session when I let a new student into the Thursday version of the Peony Method, it struck me that a) the Thursday session is NOT for newbies. (You can take ANY class with me and then you'd be fine in Thursday.)

And b) I COULD let people do drop ins during the Tuesday class because that tends to be more of a fundamental/foundational approach to the Peony Method (which is appropriate no matter what level you're at).

SO...

For the end of the year session, which is six weeks during November and December, with time off at the end of the year, I'm opening Tuesdays up to drop ins.

HOW IT WORKS

You need to contact me directly either on Facebook or via email or in response to this newsletter and let me know what Tuesday you’d be interested in.

A drop in is $20 so I'll give you my email to either PayPal or Venmo that.

Once I get that, I'll give you the instructions about how to be in and do the class.

Why Slow?

““The times are urgent; let us slow down.””

— — Bayo Akomolafe

When we practice slow in the Peony Method, it's not just to practice being physically slow. Though it is that to some degree, as slower physical practices are, truly, more challenging.

Why? To start, you can’t “cheat” with momentum. Going slowly, you’ll also feel more — including if you’re pushing past a limit of some sort that could lead to injury.

You’re also able to observe your body’s strengths and deficiencies more closely.

If you DO have an injury, you can take your time working around it… flirting with its edges, deciding what to work with and what to let rest.

Slow practices also allow more focus on good breath work but also on different types of breath work. (If you’ve been in my classes, one example would be when we only move during suspended inhales or exhales.)

But beyond all of this (and I’ve really only started to touch on the physical advantages of slow), the slow in the Peony Method is about the emotional/mental/spiritual aspects of your BodyMind.

We hear our body’s messages more clearly. We hear where things might be stuck — whether old trauma, recent grief, or any emotion that is in need of your attention. It’s all in the body, of course.

We hear our heart's truth better when we slow down. The heart can speak in whispers and our busy, chaotic world is often too much for it.

We hear/feel our connections when we’re slower — whether to ourselves, our wiser self, something bigger, each other.

Truth, wisdom, the next move, the right idea… it all has the space it needs to arise and get your attention when we’re moving slowly.

This is not to say that faster movement doesn’t have its own set of pros. But our culture — including our movement culture — prizes FASTER, BIGGER, BETTER.

The Peony Method is the antidote to all of that.

Dance is NOT exercise

No matter how much I talk and write about this, the wider culture’s use of dance is louder than me, so I guess I’ll simply be saying variations of this for the rest of my life. ((ha))

This is something I wrote recently on my linkedin (and it’s followed by another clarification so jump ahead if you’ve already seen this italicized part):

I just saw someone, on a trauma related post, write "exercise/dance," and it made me wince.

To start, I can't stand the word or idea of exercise. Our culture has turned it into half/part of various punishment equations (and these are just off the top of my head):

Exercise = being allowed to eat something yummy

Exercise x Self Denial = being a size that we find acceptable

Exercise x a lot of luck related variables = health as a virtue

To equate dance with any of that just makes me grrrr...

Because the dance world is already steeped in self abusive behaviors and the encouragement of self hatred if you don't meet certain criteria.

Beyond that, our wider culture has turned dance into something only done by certain bodies in certain ways.

Or we think of it as something that we do publicly if we've had enough to drink.

Dance is a sacred human endeavor meant for expression and connection. Period.

Dance is literally in our genes, as it was the first way -- along with drumming and fire -- that we made ritual.

It was also, very likely, how we came together and created the illusion of something larger to scare off threats.

It is written into us to move to music and sound and with others.

And THAT is why it's so damn effective when treating/healing/exploring trauma.

I rarely use the word “dance” when I’m talking about The Peony Method because there’s so much about that word that can trigger so many humans, including really negative experiences with dance teachers in childhood.

So I often say movement or movement art, but we are dancing, just as the whole universe dances itself into and out of the cycles of destruction and construction over and over and over…

But there are MASSIVE differences between what I do and what most people think of when they hear the word dance, and there are just as huge differences between what I do and what a lot of what’s called “conscious dance” looks like.

We are never dancing or moving to check out or to “transcend.” We are moving to become more awake and to bring more awareness to this bodily experience life. We are moving to feel and to process and to open.

This really is the piece most people are missing if they are doing talk therapy. Talk all you want but eventually you have to come face to face with your lack of embodiment and you have to become embodied to move forward and grow.

If we really want healing and freedom, the body is the way, and you must be willing to move this body in the way it is crying/screaming/asking to move. And that won’t look like anything anyone else has ever done.

In that context, I give you “structure without stricture.”

This photo shows what I mean by "structure without stricture." Each person in this photo is both listening to the same music AND responding to the same exact prompt...

This is a practice that meets you where you are, day to day, and evolves with you over time. The Peony Method is freedom.

Aging, user error, and movement play

A lot (not all) of what we refer to as "aging" could actually be categorized as user error. And again, I'm not talking about complicated process like disease, illness, injury, but the typical things we blame on aging.

We don't pay attention to water intake. There are physicians who would corroborate that a lot of our issues are around dehydration, from what happens with our skin to fatigue to brain fog/memory issues.

We stop moving so we stop being able to move. We say things like, “if I get down on the floor, I can’t get back up… age!” No. Did you spend any time on the floor before this age? So many just don’t. Stop relying on all that furniture; make friends with the floor and the ground.

We start seeing the cumulative effects of bad choices from earlier in life that we thought were okay because nothing bad was happening immediately. Everything from overeating sugars, etc., to drinking every day, to smoking, to never ever picking up a weight or trying to squat or or or... We say “my numbers are great!” until they aren’t and then what? AGE! But really in so many cases? Our choices.

Even the inches thing — we think it’s inevitable that we SHRINK! But as I’ve mentioned before, I have had elder dancers regain inches — INCHES — after mere months of this work.

Here's what I've observed from years of working with humans over 65 (and many other humans who were younger but already feeling effects that looked like aging):

It's never too late to start feeling better.

And as my elder dancer Betty would say, "tell people it's also never TOO EARLY, Christine!"

To be clear, this isn’t about “exercising” and it’s not about sweating your ass off (though that might happen here and there): it’s about joyful, flowing, natural, inquisitive movement in community.

It’s the sort of thing we should all be doing from day one and it’s the sort of thing that we naturally keep doing because it’s so easeful and calming and smiley. And it becomes, over time, the space where we process everything, the space where we honor and pray, the space where we rejuvenate and relax, the space where we connect to self and all and everything.

The Seven Types of Rest

(Before we start talking about types of rest, the August session of Quickie Mindful Mobility and The Peony Method starts up the week of August 9th, so go here to register.)

Let's talk about types of rest. (And these come from a physician-writer and her book. I’ve not read that but listened to her speak about it.)

I work with enough people who have had issues with depression, that I've had to talk a lot about how too much rest can be a thing... too much napping can be a sign of something else happening.

That said, if we look at the different kinds of rest and think about in what ways we are actually exhausted... well, this would have helped years ago when I was first teaching this stuff.

A quick list with tiny notes.

Where are you needing rest and not getting it?

1. PHYSICAL REST: two types -- passive (naps, sleeping) and active (stretching, yoga, massage, etc.)

2. MENTAL REST: needed when we find ourselves trying to fall asleep and then we can't stop thinking, when we're working on too many things at once. The rest part of this is drilling down. Getting specific, for example, only thinking about one thing. Focusing on a word of the day. As for night time thinking, I found I could repeat a healthy phrase or sentence over and over and then it would stop and I would sleep.

Mental rest CAN ALSO come during physical activity. Runners feel like they're meditating, for example. AND the Peony Method has a ton of mental rest and we rest brain by moving body in specific but creative ways.

3. SOCIAL REST: being around people who NEED NOTHING FROM YOU. This is a HUGE part of the Peony Method, for sure.

4. SPIRITUAL REST: when you feel disconnected and despairing, you need this. It doesn't have to include any kind of religion. It's about a feeling of BELONGING but also just a feeling that your life matters and that you're connected to something larger. There are so many ways to get this, and again, The Peony Method does this.

5. SENSORY REST: I think we understand this the second we read it if we are at all extra sensitive. It can be as simple as turning your phone off at 8 PM every night. It can be going for a walk in the woods and just focusing on your breathing. The lake gave me this and number 4 in particular.

6. EMOTIONAL REST: for many reasons, we don't process emotion in the moment. The reasons for this are not always negative but they can be. So we need ways to process and allow ourselves to feel. This is also a HUGE part of the Peony Method -- maybe the CORE. (It's different, I'm sure, which is the highest priority for each student.)

7. CREATIVE REST: as creatives, we're often demanding of our creativity. We're often WORKING at it, one way or another. Creative rest for me is about going to a museum, listening to live music... anything where I am the RECEIVER.

As you can see, you can have very specific deficits in one or more of these areas, but the remedies tend to overlap, covering a few areas at once.

If you’re interested in the sorts of rest that the Peony Method can provide, a new session is starting for August on the 9th and 11th (or whenever you want to use the videos.) Go here for registration.

A Tiny Experiment for You

I shared this in the Sanctuary on Facebook and realized I should share it wider:

TASK at the end...

One time when I was at a training at Kripalu, a woman walked up to me during an open dance/movement class and said that watching me was like watching moving sculpture, and I think back to that often...

I think about how much that could change how a lot of humans think about dance and their own bodies and moving if they thought of it like that.

Too much what passes for dance now looks more like gymnastics and it ends up hurting the core of what dance is... ART... EXPRESSION... PRIMAL IMPERATIVE... RITUAL...

This tiny clip works here. The choreographer is sitting against the wall in the first frame... with all that lovely white hair...

TASK: over the coming days, even as you're just walking about... thinking about yourself like moving sculpture, like art, and ask what you are expressing even in that mundane movement.

EVERYTHING can be dance... or should be...