This Time is What You Practice For

Now we cannot distract ourselves and it might be proving difficult. But this is an opportunity to notice your pain, your grief, your challenges... all the things that have been asking for your attention but have been easier to ignore until this.

This is the practice. This is what we do every time we stand vulnerable to a piece of music or to the silence and we breathe and we wait. We wait for the body to speak; we wait for a truthful expression; we wait for the uncomfortable impulse and then we follow it, with fascination, to see where it might lead us.

It will always be to somewhere more interesting than where comfort takes us. Always.

12 Years Ago You Would Not Have Known Me

In this photo, I think I am happy. I have just finished my Yoga Dance teacher training with the amazing Megha at Kripalu. My life felt like it finally had some meaning and purpose. I was starting to feel more like myself than I had in…forever.

And YET.

I look at this photo now and it makes me sad. I can see that it is me but it does not look like me, if that makes sense. There is something off about the eyes in particular. I think I look older in this photo from 11 years ago than I do now, as I approach 51 in mere weeks.

11 years ago, I was starting on this path that has led me to creating Bodypoetics, but oh, my, the distances I have had to cover before I got here.

The distances I had already covered before heading to Kripalu…

12 years ago, you would not have known me.

My body was much bigger, but that is just the outside, which for me is very much about the insides but that’s another post.

My eyes were empty, from over a decade of serious depression, and from living a lie of a life in every way.

My body was always and forever carrying some sort of pain — back, hips, migrained brain, and on and on with one chronic issue after another.

And oh, my, MY MIND.

I had been convinced that I did not like people, that I hated people.

I had been convinced that I did not ever want to be touched or hugged by anyone. BY ANYONE.

I had been convinced that my fears prevented me from pursuing good work or even leaving the house.

I had been convinced that I had this mental illness, then this one, then this one, then this one…all to keep me obsessed and paralyzed.

I had been convinced that getting professional help was a waste of time and wouldn’t help anyway. That pills were bad. That therapy was dumb.

These beliefs came to me from another human who counted on me staying down.

But there was plenty of inner shit to work with that I had been carrying since I was about 9.

I was already convinced that I was worthless.

I was already convinced that I had nothing of value to offer others.

I was already convinced that life was a burden, as was I to anyone.

12 years ago you would not have known me.

And then, long story short, a dear friend died and I attended the wedding of another and I started to dance and eventually met Megha, and well, the rest is (recent) history.

I do not know what compelled me to dance at that wedding.

I do not know what compelled me to go to Kripalu, and in so doing, face about 100 of my greatest fears.

12 years ago you would not have known me but that’s because I did not even know myself.

Somehow I am still alive.

Somehow I am getting real help and am surrounded by well meaning people who only want the best for me… finally.

Somehow, every day, I get up and believe in my vision of me just enough more than I believe in that old version of me. Just enough to keep me going, to keep me trying and hoping.

Happy Healthy Feet

As I say in the video, everything is about the feet because that’s where it all starts.

This is just a simple, quick, few moves practice that, if done every day for a month, will change not just your feet but your sense of ease in your body overall.

Remember that you can subscribe to my YouTube channel so that you’re alerted when I load new content.

A Glimpse into My One on One Work and What It's All REALLY About

I work with people one on one, and with every person, this will look very different, of course but eventually it all comes down to similar issues.

People will come to me wanting to work on flexibility or they want to get stronger. They often start by coming to me with what they perceive to be a physical issue.

But eventually and inevitably, we get to the real issue.

Chronic physical issues (as opposed to illnesses) always have a basis in your emotional or spiritual life.

The body is simply telling the truth about your pain or what you need before you yourself are ready to articulate it.

Some of my students though know this from the start and come to me immediately with requests like Chris, for example.

She’s working through a lot of layers of grief, and even though she takes weekly classes with me, she knows that on occasion she needs more intense and focused help. So right now, we’re doing a series of one on ones focusing on exactly HER.

This is how we started last week — with what I simply call folding and unfolding. It’s a way to very easily drop into the body without feeling like you’re trying to make the body “perform” in any way.

What the HECK is "Movement Art?"

When I say "movement art" rather than dance or yoga or any other specific system, I mean to open your mind to possibility...

To the possibility that you can be a curious explorer of your own body's potential for creativity and expression rather than being a body that mimics and attempts to perfect.

To the possibility that your body is your main medium of expression in this life... no matter what you are doing... sitting, standing, choosing what to wear, moving through space in any way...

To the possibility that because your body is your main medium of expression that without taking time every day to be with that and explore that that you are missing out on a huge part of your life... that your life is smaller because you don't have this ability to listen to the way your body tells the story of your life... to the way your body is actually narrating your life and designing your life experience...

Without this level of consciousness, you are at the mercy of outside forces and general brain assholery and you'll never know your true potential whether in work or relationship with self or others.

What Dance REALLY Is...

Dance is a creative and expressive force that lives within your genes and was never meant to be the thing we think it is... the over-extensions, the dieting to death, the specific bodies only, the specific ages only...

We have become so disconnected from our individual bodies that we no longer know how to listen to them or care for them, and now that we're adept at destroying ourselves, we are destroying this world.

Dancing in community, dancing for joy, dancing for grief, dancing to be with those whom we love, dancing to mark important events, dancing to cross thresholds...

THAT is what dancing is.

It is the willingness to be vulnerable and truthful and to dig in deep and it is a pathway to healing that will heal us and our environment, but we must be willing to take it back.

New, FREE Circle of Trees Monthly Global Intention Dance

This new project is FREE and open to anyone anywhere on this beautiful planet, and I’m super excited for it to begin TUESDAY, MAY 7th. Please follow instructions below for joining.

When we dance together, there is an instant sacred connection created. We all feel it — whether in a club or a studio or a friend’s living room.

It makes sense since dancing, after all, along with lighting a fire and drumming, was the first way we created ritual.

It’s in our genes; it swims in and around our cells. It travels forth on our breath and soaks earth with out sweat.

From running online projects for many years now, though, I know that you don’t have to even be in the same room — or the same town or even on the same continent for this connection to occur and be palpable, to have full effect.

To have full effect all there needs to be is shared awareness and intention and group directed action.

So once a month, I’ll lead a global intention dance.

HOW: You have to be in the Facebook group, Circle of Trees. Period. This is where the event will be initiated. I won’t be replicating it anywhere else. Just tell me to add you by going to my Facebook page and saying, HEY! ADD ME TO THE TREES! (If you’re not my friend yet, start by friending me there.)

WHEN: I’ll start the process in the Circle of Trees on the first Tuesday of every month.

WHAT: I’ll start by asking an intention based question. Answer. The more people who answer, the more the thread of intention will connect all of us and the more we can each become part of the awareness web that will support those intentions.

I’ll also provide music AND A TIME for us all to try to participate.

PLEASE NOTE: I’ll alter the time month to month, considering we all live in different zones all over the world.

ALSO: If you can’t participate because the time ends up being the middle of the night for you, do it the following day at that time. Just focus your awareness. You’re still with us.

That’s it. It’s that easy.

Free Stuff: Playlists to Help You with Your Personal Practice

One of the difficulties that can arise when we’re trying to develop or deepen an at home personal movement art practice is music. Not everyone has the time or the inclination to find music. Not everyone knows what kind of music would work best for different kinds of movement work.

So to help with that, I’m starting to share some freebies, including some playlists over on YouTube.

Go to my channel, click on “playlists” under the banner, and you’ll find three to start: one for working with anger and frustration, another to ground and center, and another for growing more joy and play.

Each list is under 30 minutes but can, of course, be used in even smaller bits of time by just doing a random shuffle and using the first song or the first couple to come up.

ALSO please be sure to SUBSCRIBE to my channel so that you get updates when I start to share more.