August Movement Art: Thursday Evening (Or Use the Video)

REMINDER: Go here to learn HOW to do these Zoom classes. Classes are live but are recorded so you do not have to be present during the live. You also can be present and not have your camera on if you’re uncomfortable for any reason.

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NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. CAN BE MODIFIED FOR ANY BODY.

August THURSDAYS
Time: 5:30 to 6:30 PM (Eastern United States time)
Dates: August 12, 19, 26, September 2
Cost: $65

The PATTERN of class (if you’re new to this):

Class always starts on the floor (or in a chair), exploring circular and spiral movements, especially in the spine. This is the most that the class is led in any traditional sense of that word.

For most people, the class is done either with closed eyes or downcast eyes so that they can focus on themselves and not be distracted. This is not a dance class with mirrors where people are staring at you and you’re being judged and corrected. (If I haven’t already made that clear.)

From that beginning, we make our way through explorations of joints, muscles, and segments of the body. No matter how long you take these classes, we’re always looking to learn something new about ourselves and these bodies. We try to approach our movement art practice each week as if we've never done it before.

Finally we start playing with the poetry of the body… FEELING our way into moving, followed by either some partner or group work to reground in community. (Yes, even virtually this can be done.)

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me here, on Facebook, or via email.

Joy Gem in the City & The Function of Memory in a Happy Life

I’ve written about this idea that I use in movement classes called “joy gems,” in which I ask you to remember in great sensory detail a happy moment from any time in your life. This stuff is important for healing trauma on a neurological/biological level. You can read more details about how this works here.

This is a share of a joy gem of my own with some thoughts on memory…

Moving into this house in this part of this city has felt like a string of miracles or coincidences or whatever you want to call it.

So much had to go right, had to be just right.

Now if you weren’t around during this or if you just didn’t hear me talking about it, when we walked into this house, I knew it was for us. Immediately.

But later it struck me that I knew that because it had the energy of one of my favorite houses of my whole life — the house of my GreatAunt Ardelle in Erie.

She was a special human. (Some day, she deserves a book (or two) written about how special and all the things she taught me, whether knowingly or unknowingly.)

One of my favorite things when I was very little was getting to spend the night at Ardelle’s. I would sleep on her davenport right off of her bedroom. The front of the house was visible as the whole thing was quite open and the front big window opened onto what was one of the busier roads in Erie.

I would lie there, not sleeping, watching the lights drift across the ceiling as cars drove by.

When I was little, there was something so very thrilling and also so very soothing about this.

The other night, here, in Columbus, 52 year old me could not sleep, so I made my way to our front room and laid on the couch, facing the big window that looks out toward the street.

Suddenly, the car lights were washing across the ceiling…

I had not noticed this before. I hadn’t thought about it as a possibility.

And there it was… like a beacon from little, 4 year old me…

As I was getting ready to write about this, I decided to look for a quote about memory and one of the first to pop up was this, by one of my favorite authors:

“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never
realises an emotion at the time.
It expands later, and thus we don't have complete emotions about
the present, only about the past.”
― Virginia Woolf

There is so much truth in what she says.

If you doubt, just think back to a day that was uber special — a wedding, a birth, anything of great significance — and think about how difficult it can feel to be truly present to it. How it’s so very overwhelmingly wonderful that it can almost feel like you are missing it as it is happening.

But later, LATER, looking back… there it is.

It’s this looking back at these sorts of moments that can heal us. And I think it’s a large piece of the puzzle of healing that can be missing, as we take so much time to “unearth” and “understand” and “process” the difficult things that have happened to us, which is important, but not more important than this… the work of constructing a memory edifice of light and love.

Chronic Pain is Exhausting... Duh...

I’m privileged in that not only do I have access to excellent healthcare, but I have, for large parts of my life, had extra quick access due to family connections to medicine. So this Thursday, I get to see a top rated ortho guy for my shoulder, and I am so grateful.

It has not always been like this for me, especially when I needed it most. From my late 20s until about 40, I was constantly spiraling in and out of serious depressive episodes, and when I wasn’t just trying to survive, I was still not healthy or happy. During this time, I also had constant, ever-changing chronic pain and migraines.

I believe in my case that the depression and chronic pain fed each other, growing from and then into each other, back and forth.

You might be someone who understands this enough to know then that I had little energy for anything but living.

That’s what chronic illness and pain does to you — forces you into a basic level of living, and all the while, the world around us does not allow for that in any way. You’re still expected to be a good little producer of work and maker of money. It’s a wonder that more of us do not fall through the cracks than already do.

Right now, my issue is independent of my most recent cycle of depression… or is it?

Because when we’re depressed, it’s really hard to get ourselves literally moving, and in that context, you’re simply more likely to experience pain or injury.

Then pain and injury makes you less likely to move and thus increases your depression.

It is truly a vicious downward spiral.

Which is why it’s important that we talk about it more, that we ask each other for help, that we do everything we possibly can to move something.

Move something… what the hell do I mean?

Move SOMETHING… ANYTHING.

I’ve had students with such serious knee issues that they couldn’t stand to dance and so they worked from chairs. Those students were of all ages.

I’ve worked with elders post stroke and serious illness, who danced with whatever they could in their body in a wheelchair.

And then there’s me… fighting this fight right now on a lesser level, for sure but still…

Some days, I want to just lie down and GIVE UP. Just lie down and say fuck it.

That’s the old and dangerous depression lurking, seeing its chance to pounce.

But instead, after all these years and all of this learning and all those students who worked so hard at my beckoning, I cannot give into that.

I get up and walk.

I do the movement that I CAN.

And what I can leads to what I thought I couldn’t.

I see you

I remember the very first time I saw into someone so deeply that I realized I was seeing a very young version of them. It happened during my first training at Kripalu, before I started teaching, as I witnessed a woman dancing.

That’s when I realized that this work I was about to embark upon was/is profoundly sacred.

The act of seeing another human — actually and fully seeing them — is profoundly sacred.

And when you are vulnerable enough to allow for that seeing, we are in communion together, bringing forth your truth.

I don’t think I can describe the work I do — the work we do together — any better than that last sentence.

I make the space for that bringing forth to happen by giving you the opportunity and the tools to be that vulnerable. I give you a method and a process through which you can explore yourself and all your parts and experiences… wordlessly, with no need to explain or make excuses or even to “try to understand.”

I also make space for you to process and transmute all of this, to make space for it inside yourself, to create wholeness, and to really know your strength.

If that’s not “church” or “temple” or “ritual,” I don’t know what is.

July Quickie Yoga: Gently Finding & Strengthening Your Core and Inner Fire

LOCATION: Online, either live or videos on your own time
DATES: Tuesdays and Thursdays, July 13, 15, 20, 22, 27, 29, and August 3, 5
TIME: 10:30 AM to 10:50 AM (Easter United States time)
*NOTE: I get online at about 10:20 in case anyone needs to talk.
COST: $55 (includes access to me in a private Facebook group and access to the classes for the entire 4 weeks. Links do not expire during that time.)

If you’ve never done yoga with me before, read here.

Me and my co-teacher…

If you’ve never had a zoom class with me before, read here.

PLEASE NOTE: You must be willing to be in a private Facebook group to access these classes.

For this four week session (as usual, twice a week for 20 minutes; recorded if you can’t make the “lives”), we’ll be doing some of our favorite Kundalini yoga, but each day, we’ll also be exploring how to access and strengthen your core.

That may sound funny but I am constantly meeting women who aren’t sure they’ve ever actually, truly used their core.

And by core, I don’t mean your front tummy area, but the entirety of all the muscles around and through the torso. Think of it more as a “corset.”

We WILL NOT be doing “crunches” or anything of that crappy sort. HA!

This class is meant for anyone of any level. I’ll be providing plenty of modifications.

In Kundalini, this area also corresponds to your willpower and your capacity to create your life, so we’ll be working on that too!

Choosing Joy: It's not trite

This is taking ultimate responsibility for our lives. It's hard and sometimes I just want to throw a temper tantrum and say NO! I'M EXHAUSTED!

Sometimes the reality of this power we hold as individuals just makes me mad... why can't someone else do it!?

Choosing joy is not trite. It’s not about giggles or excitement, though it can be.

It’s something so much deeper.

If you’ve suffered from any sort of depression or anxiety, all of this can feel even more difficult and almost… cruel, right? Like how do we DO THIS in light of those mental health challenges especially?! When we barely have the energy to get out of bed, how do we choose joy?!

In light of those challenges, it’s actually more important that we become conscious of the fact of this choice.

In bed, when we are struggling, can we look around for even a hint of joy that could motivate us?

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes, you know that would be the sight of my cat, Peony.

When I’ve been in some of my darkest moments in this human form, the thought of that cat… the purrs of that cat, have saved me.

Joy has saved me.

“Do not look for rest in any pleasure, because you were not created for pleasure: you were created for spiritual joy. And if you do not know the difference between pleasure and spiritual joy you have not yet begun to live.”

— Thomas Merton

#DailyJoy: Skin Care

I don’t get anything from anyone when I write about stuff like this. If that changes, you know I’ll be transparent about it.

I’ve always taken decent care of my skin, and before I start talking about product, a little reminder that the best skin care is an inside job.

My skin looks freaking AMAZING when I drink ALL the splish splash (or water…whatever…I prefer this name given by Donnie Quinn one day in a class), when I eat massive amounts of fruits and veggies, when I sleep well, when I move well, when I laugh a TON.

That said… I love me some good skin care and the picture to the right is a small sample of my current favorites.

My routine is to switch things up a lot. Your skin doesn’t want the same shit put on it every single day from here to eternity… just like your muscles don’t want to be doing the same freaking yoga or whatever routine. Change is good and healthy.

I do this changey thing on a macro level — always looking for new products — and a micro level — daily cycling through different products.

Every morning, I do a gentle scrub with one of a few scrubs at hand. Every evening, I do a toner with one of a few toners at hand. And I am constantly using different day and night creams.

Onto the goods… these are my current OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING favorites:

(Note: I have skin that rarely gets a pimple and it’s normal to dry…never oily. Just so you know that these things are geared toward that.)

I got this Glazen Face Glow from Butter of London as a sample when I ordered some nail stuff (LOVE them for nails) and WOW. Like, I cannot say enough about this stuff. Makes my skin feel baby butt soft and then it also makes me look like I bothered with makeup. HA! It comes in different shades.

I love LUSH (and so does my husband, if you have a man in your life who likes good smelling stuff). Right now I’m obsessed with their Cup O’Coffee face mask. I do it once or twice a week and it always looks like I got an expensive facial, especially if I follow it with Magical Moringa Beauty Balm. I also smell so good, you might want to eat my face.

Speaking of baby butt soft faces, this one is new to me this week and again, OB.SESSED. Vitamin C Skin Boost Instant Smoother is everything its name says and more. I really can’t describe it.

I am also loving the Body Shop’s Petal Soft GEL Toner. (For some reason I couldn’t find it on their site but I just bought it at their store.)

And finally, I happened upon this last one by pure luck at a local organic grocer. Acure Radically Rejuvenating Facial Scrub with rose oil is just gentle enough to use every day. Or every other, as is my case.

I could go on forever but would love to hear what you’re loving lately.

The Tricksy of Wanting to Lose Weight

Here’s the thing, in this photo of me… a few years before I met Craig… I thought I was disgusting. That’s body dysmorphia right there. I literally could not SEE what I actually, in reality looked like.

I thought I “still” needed to lose at least 20 pounds here.

First, no.

Second, why? I would tell myself it was so my “dance lines could be seen.” As if they could not already.

My mental health, just like any humans, is directly linked to my physical health. We are integrated like that.

But my weight is not part of that equation except in a results/correlation sort of way.

I must move a LOT every day to really feel like my best self, to beat the depression monster that lurks in my distracted brain.

The amount of movement that takes happens to result in a smaller body … in MY very specific case. It doesn’t work like that for everyone.

People will often think that because I encourage you to love your joybody that I am anti-weight loss.

I’m not.

I’m anti body punishment.

I’m anti self hate.

I’m anti food deprivation.

I’m anti food labeling (“good” versus “bad”).

I’m anti whatever you’re doing that is NOT joyful.

I’m not anti weight loss, but I do want you to be very clear about your weight loss goal.

Where does it come from? Is it true to your body type? Are you loving yourself? Are you moving and eating with joy and play and fun and delight at the center?

Are you living outside the constant worry about and obsession over numbers — the number on the scale, the number of the size of your pants, calorie counts, any freaking number that brings you anxiety?

How are you eating and moving lately that brings you joy? I’d love to hear.