Dance is NOT exercise

No matter how much I talk and write about this, the wider culture’s use of dance is louder than me, so I guess I’ll simply be saying variations of this for the rest of my life. ((ha))

This is something I wrote recently on my linkedin (and it’s followed by another clarification so jump ahead if you’ve already seen this italicized part):

I just saw someone, on a trauma related post, write "exercise/dance," and it made me wince.

To start, I can't stand the word or idea of exercise. Our culture has turned it into half/part of various punishment equations (and these are just off the top of my head):

Exercise = being allowed to eat something yummy

Exercise x Self Denial = being a size that we find acceptable

Exercise x a lot of luck related variables = health as a virtue

To equate dance with any of that just makes me grrrr...

Because the dance world is already steeped in self abusive behaviors and the encouragement of self hatred if you don't meet certain criteria.

Beyond that, our wider culture has turned dance into something only done by certain bodies in certain ways.

Or we think of it as something that we do publicly if we've had enough to drink.

Dance is a sacred human endeavor meant for expression and connection. Period.

Dance is literally in our genes, as it was the first way -- along with drumming and fire -- that we made ritual.

It was also, very likely, how we came together and created the illusion of something larger to scare off threats.

It is written into us to move to music and sound and with others.

And THAT is why it's so damn effective when treating/healing/exploring trauma.

I rarely use the word “dance” when I’m talking about The Peony Method because there’s so much about that word that can trigger so many humans, including really negative experiences with dance teachers in childhood.

So I often say movement or movement art, but we are dancing, just as the whole universe dances itself into and out of the cycles of destruction and construction over and over and over…

But there are MASSIVE differences between what I do and what most people think of when they hear the word dance, and there are just as huge differences between what I do and what a lot of what’s called “conscious dance” looks like.

We are never dancing or moving to check out or to “transcend.” We are moving to become more awake and to bring more awareness to this bodily experience life. We are moving to feel and to process and to open.

This really is the piece most people are missing if they are doing talk therapy. Talk all you want but eventually you have to come face to face with your lack of embodiment and you have to become embodied to move forward and grow.

If we really want healing and freedom, the body is the way, and you must be willing to move this body in the way it is crying/screaming/asking to move. And that won’t look like anything anyone else has ever done.

In that context, I give you “structure without stricture.”

This photo shows what I mean by "structure without stricture." Each person in this photo is both listening to the same music AND responding to the same exact prompt...

This is a practice that meets you where you are, day to day, and evolves with you over time. The Peony Method is freedom.

What next? What happens after we "understand" our traumas?

If we've spent time uncovering and honoring our traumas and we've gotten to a place of some level of understanding (there is never a perfect sort of understanding), at some point, we must start to intentionally/consciously shift focus.

This doesn't mean we aren't also still working through layers of trauma as they come up. That will happen forever; it's part of this being human thing.

And I think that's why people get stuck, actually... they sense that there is more to work on so they think they have to focus. No, you don't.

Shit happens. Shit will keep happening and it will trigger you into deeper understanding of previous shit.

In the meantime, we can and we MUST continue to work on the other focus -- the Joy Focus, to put it one way.

This is not bypassing because we aren't using joyful things to avoid the hard stuff.

We are recognizing that life is both the hard stuff and the joyful things and we're giving space to each.

At first, consciously shifting our focus will feel... almost fake, right?

Because we've gotten so accustomed to living in the crap and the unwinding of crap, focusing on anything else will feel like we are frauds. It will feel like bypassing, but again, it’s not.

But we must persist.

We are in charge of these minds/this life. We get to decide where we put our energy.

We are not here to just be bandied about by circumstances and memories.

We are the bosses of ourselves, including of our brains, and our brains are tools to create and experience that which we WANT/DESIRE/NEED.

How do we do this? You know the answer...

By BEING IN THE BODY.

We do this by moving, by noticing, by fine tuning our senses through positive sensory input like music and art and nature and good food and great smells and and and...

So... What can you start moving, noticing, fine tuning...

I’d love to hear from you. What are three small things you can start with?

Aging, user error, and movement play

A lot (not all) of what we refer to as "aging" could actually be categorized as user error. And again, I'm not talking about complicated process like disease, illness, injury, but the typical things we blame on aging.

We don't pay attention to water intake. There are physicians who would corroborate that a lot of our issues are around dehydration, from what happens with our skin to fatigue to brain fog/memory issues.

We stop moving so we stop being able to move. We say things like, “if I get down on the floor, I can’t get back up… age!” No. Did you spend any time on the floor before this age? So many just don’t. Stop relying on all that furniture; make friends with the floor and the ground.

We start seeing the cumulative effects of bad choices from earlier in life that we thought were okay because nothing bad was happening immediately. Everything from overeating sugars, etc., to drinking every day, to smoking, to never ever picking up a weight or trying to squat or or or... We say “my numbers are great!” until they aren’t and then what? AGE! But really in so many cases? Our choices.

Even the inches thing — we think it’s inevitable that we SHRINK! But as I’ve mentioned before, I have had elder dancers regain inches — INCHES — after mere months of this work.

Here's what I've observed from years of working with humans over 65 (and many other humans who were younger but already feeling effects that looked like aging):

It's never too late to start feeling better.

And as my elder dancer Betty would say, "tell people it's also never TOO EARLY, Christine!"

To be clear, this isn’t about “exercising” and it’s not about sweating your ass off (though that might happen here and there): it’s about joyful, flowing, natural, inquisitive movement in community.

It’s the sort of thing we should all be doing from day one and it’s the sort of thing that we naturally keep doing because it’s so easeful and calming and smiley. And it becomes, over time, the space where we process everything, the space where we honor and pray, the space where we rejuvenate and relax, the space where we connect to self and all and everything.

If you're stuck, as I was...

IMPORTANT QUESTION AT THE END (and I would love to hear from MANY OF YOU):

There aren't enough words to describe how much giving into the joy of another kitten has changed my life.

The guilt I was feeling that kept me from moving on with this any faster is just gone. Because joy is never something to feel guilty about and once I entered into it again, I knew this on a cellular level.

Grief makes us forget ourselves; it makes us lose sight; it lies to us about the love that is still possible.

And I'm thinking about how this is related to how SHIT the world is right now...

Yes, the world is shit. But are you contributing to it by resisting the beauty and love and joy and peace that you CAN find/have/make?

I keep going back to my Holocaust studies and I keep going back to that time I presented a paper at a Holocaust conference in New Jersey. I was the youngest person there by far at about 25.

At lunch, it turned out I was sitting next to an older woman with a number tattoo.

What was stunning is that I would have never ever guessed she would have that tattoo because she was so SMILEY. She was so happy to have someone my age there. She was just radiating JOY.

It strikes me... people who go through the WORST are often the most joyful.

And I think that's the lesson we all need right now... that we CANNOT give up these aspects/pursuits in life.

As I've said before, the AWFUL PEOPLE DOING THE AWFUL... they NEVER waiver.

What if WE never waivered in bringing forth JOY and BEAUTY and PEACE?

There is room for grief but I'm afraid that I (and maybe you?) have spent too long in it and are stuck and wallowing. Then I got that kitten...

So what thing could you do to break free of it and move in the other direction? This is not a rhetorical question. COMMIT TO SOMETHING by leaving a comment or writing to me privately.

The Seven Types of Rest

(Before we start talking about types of rest, the August session of Quickie Mindful Mobility and The Peony Method starts up the week of August 9th, so go here to register.)

Let's talk about types of rest. (And these come from a physician-writer and her book. I’ve not read that but listened to her speak about it.)

I work with enough people who have had issues with depression, that I've had to talk a lot about how too much rest can be a thing... too much napping can be a sign of something else happening.

That said, if we look at the different kinds of rest and think about in what ways we are actually exhausted... well, this would have helped years ago when I was first teaching this stuff.

A quick list with tiny notes.

Where are you needing rest and not getting it?

1. PHYSICAL REST: two types -- passive (naps, sleeping) and active (stretching, yoga, massage, etc.)

2. MENTAL REST: needed when we find ourselves trying to fall asleep and then we can't stop thinking, when we're working on too many things at once. The rest part of this is drilling down. Getting specific, for example, only thinking about one thing. Focusing on a word of the day. As for night time thinking, I found I could repeat a healthy phrase or sentence over and over and then it would stop and I would sleep.

Mental rest CAN ALSO come during physical activity. Runners feel like they're meditating, for example. AND the Peony Method has a ton of mental rest and we rest brain by moving body in specific but creative ways.

3. SOCIAL REST: being around people who NEED NOTHING FROM YOU. This is a HUGE part of the Peony Method, for sure.

4. SPIRITUAL REST: when you feel disconnected and despairing, you need this. It doesn't have to include any kind of religion. It's about a feeling of BELONGING but also just a feeling that your life matters and that you're connected to something larger. There are so many ways to get this, and again, The Peony Method does this.

5. SENSORY REST: I think we understand this the second we read it if we are at all extra sensitive. It can be as simple as turning your phone off at 8 PM every night. It can be going for a walk in the woods and just focusing on your breathing. The lake gave me this and number 4 in particular.

6. EMOTIONAL REST: for many reasons, we don't process emotion in the moment. The reasons for this are not always negative but they can be. So we need ways to process and allow ourselves to feel. This is also a HUGE part of the Peony Method -- maybe the CORE. (It's different, I'm sure, which is the highest priority for each student.)

7. CREATIVE REST: as creatives, we're often demanding of our creativity. We're often WORKING at it, one way or another. Creative rest for me is about going to a museum, listening to live music... anything where I am the RECEIVER.

As you can see, you can have very specific deficits in one or more of these areas, but the remedies tend to overlap, covering a few areas at once.

If you’re interested in the sorts of rest that the Peony Method can provide, a new session is starting for August on the 9th and 11th (or whenever you want to use the videos.) Go here for registration.

THE Question You Need

Years ago, when I was going through a massive transformation that was painful, I did one really smart thing. I don’t remember why and I can’t remember where this came from but…

I created a question that I lived from:

What does my heart need/want right now to open/remain open/open more?

That’s it.

And that question was utter magic.

I asked it every day in the morning and before bed as I did my rituals.

And I asked it throughout the day.

Recently I shared this question with a student who took the work of it seriously and she reported back that it shifted everything for her.

Here’s a warning about this question: it is tender and easily eaten by any kind of depression, grief, rage, despair.

This question is a sort of tending to your life but the question itself also needs to be tended to.

The second you start ignoring it in favor of feeding the heart-closing aspects of your current situation, this question starts to… slowly fade away.

You won’t notice because it will be such a soft leaving. And years later, something will happen and you’ll wonder whatever happened to that question practice that was changing you so much on a spiritually cellular level.

I know of what I speak. I lost sight of this question… I can’t really pinpoint when.

Did it happen when I got really busy being super happy? It can happen then.

Or did it happen when I hit a wall of despair after a bunch of difficult events? It most certainly can happen then.

It doesn’t matter, though. It happened.

And here I am, remembering because I knew someone else needed this.

Which is a huge reason for my teaching. You all help me to re-member so much of myself every day.

I’m going to rebuild practices around this question and I would love to know if and how you would be joining me.

Introducing BEGONIA YUKI

And just like that, life changes and is more joyful again.

This past Saturday, Craig and I drove a half hour south of Columbus to a really wonderful animal rescue to pick up our newest family member.

Craig had been looking for a while. I’d given him some parameters and told him not to include me in the search. It felt too sad to me and I still had mixed feelings about getting another white cat — or even another cat. I had been contemplating a dog because I thought then I wouldn’t put Peony expectations on them.

When he saw that she had two different colored eyes, he knew she was the one. Like Peony AND David Bowie were sending her to me.

To remind me of myself.

And I would have to write millions of words to try to describe how much this has changed everything.

I tried to write about it in the Sanctuary:

There are so many layers to what's happening for me since Craig brought Begonia Yuki into my life. I'm sure I will be writing about this here and there for some time.

But at some point this weekend, I wrote a note to a friend, saying that I realized I did not have an OUNCE of care or energy to point toward the negative, the "news," the crap of the world. I wasn't even thinking about it.

And she wrote back that Begonia is the light, because of course.

Here's the thing...

I can still hold -- with utter tenderness, vulnerability, and depth -- my grief over losing Peony Yuki. She will forever be with me.

BUT at the same time, I can see now more clearly the gifts she gave me because I am not drowning in my grief. Day to day, I was struggling to just keep my head above water...

And the biggest gift Peony gave me was JOY. My capacity for joy.

She opened my heart and there were nights years ago when she literally saved my life and then opened my heart ever wider.

To say I was lost when I lost her... I was in the labyrinth and I had no string or breadcrumbs to guide me out...

Or so I thought.

Grief can be so overwhelming, so overriding that the gifts we're left with are of no help.

Until another being comes along and reignites that.

I love the other animals in my life, but I (here's some woo...) seem to have some sort of soul connection to these little white/pink cats. (End of bit from the Sanctuary.)

Right now, as I sit here writing this, Begonia is in my lap, purring, content to just be with me. If I got up and walked into another room, she would follow. If I close a door and she’s on the other side, she cries. She is chattering to me regularly. She engages when I’m teaching or doing movement work.

She needs attention from me. And I needed that more than I even knew.

I can’t explain this even to myself and I don’t need to… I can just be grateful that a small white cat with big pink ears is the key to my wellbeing and my sense of centeredness and joy, because what a wonderfully simple and beautiful key she is.

A Tiny Experiment for You

I shared this in the Sanctuary on Facebook and realized I should share it wider:

TASK at the end...

One time when I was at a training at Kripalu, a woman walked up to me during an open dance/movement class and said that watching me was like watching moving sculpture, and I think back to that often...

I think about how much that could change how a lot of humans think about dance and their own bodies and moving if they thought of it like that.

Too much what passes for dance now looks more like gymnastics and it ends up hurting the core of what dance is... ART... EXPRESSION... PRIMAL IMPERATIVE... RITUAL...

This tiny clip works here. The choreographer is sitting against the wall in the first frame... with all that lovely white hair...

TASK: over the coming days, even as you're just walking about... thinking about yourself like moving sculpture, like art, and ask what you are expressing even in that mundane movement.

EVERYTHING can be dance... or should be...