When bad things keep happening...

It’s Tuesday, March 28th as I sit to write this. Today I had myself scheduled to make some new reels and videos. My books are full of work to be done. My planner has lists.

But I just couldn’t. Instead I’m writing here and then I’m going to take some time to do some reading… Buddhism. It seems to be my go to when I feel lost, angry, sad, grieving, and powerless in this world that more and more is being created in some sick image of an authoritarian God who judges and punishes, a world where the faithful are really the fearful, a world that values one particular “freedom” over all others.

On average, we are seeing one school shooting a week. A WEEK.

But this last shooting in Nashville has an added layer that is dangerous for an already marginalized group of people. This added layer is what those fearful “Christians” immediately grabbed on to, and within moments of the news, they started churning out hateful rhetoric that is inflammatory, dangerous, and actually, as usual, full of lies.

They are claiming that trans people are the new dangerous group. I won’t quote them, but I will quote some actual REAL and TRUE stats, which are easy enough to corroborate just by going through all the news stories yourself and counting but here:

"4 shooters out of over 300 mass shooters since 2009 are transgender or non binary. That's just 1.3 percent of all shooters," Anthony Zenkus, a lecturer in social work at Columbia University, wrote on Twitter. "You just proved our point: 99 percent of mass shooters in the United States are cis gendered.”

* Cis gendered male, to be more precise. For more of those stats and the rest of that article, go here.

As usual, our politicians, most of whom are the whores of the NRA and other violent groups, are trying to distract us from the reality that this country is sick, and specifically, that our love of guns in this country is a mental illness.

As a cis gendered woman who has had plenty of opportunity in my life to feel frightened and actually threatened by the men around her, I have never once thought, “I should carry a gun…”

As a person in a group of humans who is actually targeted with rape and murder, I have never thought that I should arm myself and prepare myself to kill another.

So what are all these cis gendered men who carry their AR15s into GROCERY stores so fucking frightened of?

They have bought into a story told to them from on high… that someone, some mysterious someone is out to get them. Though they themselves hold most of the power, they have bought into a story that their power is being threatened and can be directly protected with violence.

Again, we are sick.

And guns only make our sickness more obvious. Every other developed country that has instituted strict gun control (not even just the wimpy ass variety we’ve been begging for for decades) sees an immediate decrease in violence and death.

“But the criminals still have guns.” That falls flat when you take a real look at the stats for those countries just mentioned. I’m guessing they still have crime and criminals, but guess what they don’t have? Mass shootings. School shootings. Ever growing graveyards of children.

Statistically this country has more people who claim to be on the left than on the right. But the right has somehow highjacked our political system and is imposing their fear-based, ugly, violent, restrictive, and yes, fascist vision on this country. (You immediately become a fascist, FYI, when you ban books. Period.)

When I say they have somehow highjacked our political system what I really mean is that they have very intentionally squashed voter rights, instituted gerrymandering, and made their gun ownership as visible as possible so that the rest of us stay in place, too frightened to fight…

I don’t have any answers. And I don’t think it’s people like me stockpiling weapons themselves.

Because unlike most “Christians,” I actually believe in the nonviolent Christ who was very clear about weapons.

My mind is all over the place right now so I’ll end with a couple of suggestions:

First, if you’re not already, follow, support, whatever a gun reform group. This one is good.

Second, if you’re a trans ally, start being louder about it, and if for whatever reason, you feel like you can’t be louder, then be more supportive in other ways.

Here’s a national one you could support but every state and city has smaller groups that always need help.

Young Bjork speaking wisdom

I came across this on TikTok a couple of weeks ago, and it’s stayed in my head, so I figure others need it too.

She’s NOT insulting Madonna but speaking some deep truth about instinct versus intellect. Wait until the very end when she talks about the age of your brain versus the age of your instinct… it made me go, WHOA… (This video is about a minute long… you have time.)

New, free joint health video

I can’t believe it’s already March. I’m not sure where February went… perhaps under the stove with all the kitten toys.

I think time has also been eaten a lot by my singing practice but this post isn’t about that. (Though if you know me, you know it’s hard for me not to talk about my current and most special interest. HA)

((pushing my brain on topic…)) So! If you have joint pain or stiffness for any reason, this video is for you.

Since I’ve entered menopause and I think, too, since Peony died, I have been living again with pretty much constant and widespread joint pain. I say “again” because this was my state for most of my life until I started to dance again at 40.

Doing this joint circle work almost daily, though, has been the tool I needed. It really does work. It might take a week or two or three for you to notice but keep going. It can be done in mere minutes or longer… whatever time you have.

I’ll be releasing another version in a chair soon. Let me know if you have any questions. You can ask by email, Facebook messenger, or over on YouTube in the comments.

Gut bacteria and motivation, tripping and genes, grip strength and aging, and more studies to inspire you

I thought I’d start an occasional/regular post here where I share interesting studies that I come across and maybe some dance/movement videos that I have found inspiring in some way. Just a collection of insightful/cool/funny/inspirational/helpful links sort of post.

Here we go…

I’ve known a lot of students and friends who tell me they don’t get that happy chemical kick from movement that so many of us talk about, and well, there might be a reason that’s all about gut bacteria. To quote from the top of the article: “A compelling new study has identified a gut-brain pathway in mice that connects specific gut bacteria with an animal's motivation for exercise.” Read the whole thing here.

For those of you who feel like you’re constantly running into stuff or tripping or whatever… like you have zero control over your body… or maybe you’ve been called clumsy your whole life, well, it looks like there’s a genetic component to that. Read about it here.

This article is preaching to the choir about what movement does for the brain but what’s great about it is the resources list at the bottom. Check it out.

We know that strength is important but a new study directly links weak muscles to increased biological aging. The study was based on 8 to 10 years of observation of over 1200 people. This sentence really caught my eye:

"One study even found that (grip strength) is a better predictor of cardiovascular events, such as myocardial infarction, than systolic blood pressure – the clinical hallmark for detecting heart disorders."

WHOA. Read the whole thing here.

And if you ever doubt that your attitude toward aging affects your health, read this article, which also talks about a study that I used to talk about a lot… Check out the paragraph about the Counterclockwise study.

And finally, you know what a FOOT FREAK I am so it’s no wonder that that’s what I want you to focus on when you watch this short but beautiful video by Tao Dance Theatre, a company that studies Tai Chi and Ballet every day in equal measure.

Making ugly noise to get to the beauty

I wrote these words about 2 weeks ago on someone else’s post on Facebook:

I keep thinking about this as I venture further into my singing lessons. I keep thinking about a documentary about the making of the Joshua Tree (I can't find it to watch it again... it seems to have disappeared...)... Anyway, there's this part where Bono has written the words for I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For and the music was already done. But he has to figure out HOW to sing it... BONO... right? And whoa... it struck me exactly this... he had NO FEAR of sounding AWFUL and THAT is why he can do what he does. So now when I'm practicing, I push like that... just like I would do in dance, of course, but singing for me has been such a fear thing that it's more tender and vulnerable... but I push like that... where can I go that it's BAD... because RIGHT AROUND THERE... that's where you'll find awesome hanging out. 

I wrote that about 2 weeks ago, and since then, so much has changed.

So that little story — and this adventure I’m taking with singing — remember, it’s literal for me, but it’s simultaneously one giant metaphor for all of us, and it’s all about living life fully.

Over the last two weeks, because I’ve been willing to make ugly noises, to falter, to crack, to just sound like OUCH!, I’ve started to truly find my voice.

And under all that fear that I’ve lived with for so long, what am I finding?

That my voice is BIG and it’s sassy and ferocious and demanding.

It makes me think about my honest dance. I’m an aggressive mover when I’m fully in my body, so it’s no wonder that I’m an aggressive singer. (If the word aggressive makes you uncomfortable, sit with that because it’s my preferred word here and if it triggers you in some way, that’s your trigger to pay attention to. I stop to say this because over my life when I use that word, so many WOMEN correct me and say I mean assertive. No. I mean aggressive.)

I also don’t think it’s a coinkydink that once my singing lessons started, my shoulders reached new levels of healing. During a Peony Method class this week, I could feel my whole body connected in a way it hasn’t been for almost two years, thanks to a lot of factors, including Peony’s death and two frozen shoulders.

And they were frozen, for sure. The shots I got were totally necessary, but there’s some woo here, isn’t there?

Shoulders… how many times (if you’ve been in classes with me for long) have you heard me say, “Many women are weak in the shoulder area and that makes sense because it’s the connection space between heart and throat… how many of us are not saying what needs to be said and it’s stuck right at that shoulder level?”

I was obviously talking to myself.

So much...

Sometimes when I’m not writing a lot, it’s because there’s so much going on that I either am pressed for time or my brain needs time to process what’s happening in a way that it can be written about. Right now, it’s both of those things.

For now, I want to let you know that weekly classes will start up again the week of January 23rd. Please go here to read about what I’m offering and to register!

And I’ll be writing about what’s happening soon!

Stuckness and Grand Gestures

I was having a delightful as usual discussion with Deb Globus (you may know of her work with Storybeads), and we were discussing stuckness, and she said, “you need a grand gesture!”

What? Because that phrase instantly rang a bell for me. And over the coming days, it took me right back to the true start of my healing, when I started to dance again about 14 years ago. (And this is relevant to today but I’ll get there…)

Once I knew that dance was that important, I ordered my first pair of capezio ballet slippers in forever. They came and I didn’t like the feel, but I used them as a talisman (and still have them).

But I knew I needed to do something significant that would keep me on track, so I signed up for a training at Kripalu. I found something called YogaDance that seemed like a good fit.

This was about more than dance. I would have to TRAVEL. I would have to leave the cats and the almost agoraphobic love of my house and my very own spaces. It was a very, very, very big deal.

And to keep myself committed, I announced it on my then blog, BlissChick, which had a significant readership, full of humans who were more than willing to make sure my ass got in that seat on that bus and traveled to Massachusetts.

I followed through, as most of you know, and over the next few years actually went to Kripalu about ten times, gathering and synthesizing everything I could get my brain and hands and feet on until we’re in present day and all of that has become The Peony Method.

But back to now… and this feeling of stuck. I didn’t put it all together but within DAYS of talking to Deb, I signed up for that first private singing lesson.

And it took a couple more weeks to remember that discussion and see how it had worked its freaking magicks.

I’ve never doubted my ability to move/dance. I always feel confident and I don’t care who is in the room or space with me. I feel the same way about acting.

But singing is something so fragile to me…this is even bigger than that trip to Kripalu. Truly.

And it’s changing my life, because that’s what grand gestures do. I feel more focused. I feel more energetic.

I might still feel a wee bit stuck but I can feel the momentum coming back. I can feel my capacity for dreaming returning. I can feel words again. I am interested and curious in ways I was just… not. (That was the scariest thing to me… no curiosity.)

So I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing like this idea of grand gestures to get you out of even a very serious rut. When I started to dance again, I had been chronically depressed for a decade and at times it was life threatening. But something in me was still just ever so slightly open enough to allow for the tidal waves of changes that dance brought.

I’m certainly no less open to that idea now and I’m already feeling the rising, living waters that singing is bringing.

What grand gesture do YOU need?

December Focus: Slow Joy

Slow and joy are both favorite things around JoyBody Studio, as you all know. But as we have entered the holiday season, I notice the same old frenetic energy mindlessly taking over. And even when we try to resist, it can feel like we’re caught up in a tsunami of to do lists and shopping and cooking and baking and well… people-ing.

And we’re supposed to feel all fa-la-la-la-la about it but that just feels like yet another added pressure.

On top of that, if you’re into Christmas and advent, it’s supposed to be a deeply spiritual season of entering into your own fecundity and seeing what is there, waiting to be born into the world when the light returns. So hurry up so you can get to your meditation/prayers/mass/whatevers.

AND one more … on top of THAT, so many people are pushing year end workshops or certifications or specials on their products/classes, etc., and the idea that if we really hustle, we can make some freaking magic in our work or our small businesses before we get to breathe for a few days around the year change. At which point, you BETTER have some damn good ideas about your goals for NEXT year because it’s COMING IN HOT!

My god. That exhausted me just writing it.

So here’s another idea: SLOW JOY.

Stop the madness. Put down the pen and paper (unless you’re journaling or writing poetry but if you’re making yet another freaking list… put it down and walk away!).

Part of this practice will be the act of saying no.

Take a moment and look around and decide what actually really truly matters.

Get rid of the rest.

Then for the rest of the month, it’s SLOW JOY time.

Every day, moment to moment, just notice the little things. Just notice. You don’t have to write them down or make art from them or wax poetic … unless you want to and it feels like it’s part of the slow joy.

I want you to notice, too, the easeful things, or more like… what would the easeful thing be? And then do that.

Notice the soft and kind things. Take them in and also create them.

And notice the giggling things. We don’t do this even a fraction enough. Seek out laughter. But also? LET YOURSELF LAUGH. I see too many people stopping their laughter.

And spoiler: I think we should continue this, like, for the rest of time.