Free BalletOM Quickie Video as a Thank You

BalletOM is a combo of yogic breathing, simple fundamental human movements (like circles), and biomechanically aware basic ballet moves.

I find it’s super helpful as an investigative tool, in that it quickly reveals where your body’s weaknesses are.

It’s great for balance, grace, overall mobility, and strengthening and lengthening (yes, that’s a thing because what we call tightness in the body is actually a shortening).

It’s also really helpful for people who might have not been allowed to take ballet when they were little or they were rejected by teachers of ballet or they have had any kind of trauma around dance/ballet.

It reawakens your inner ballerina in a safe and kind way.

So I’m offering this free video but there’s a catch — a simple one. You have to be in the JoyBody Sanctuary on Facebook to have access. If you’re not in there, just let me know you want to be added.

This particular class is all on the floor so you don’t have to focus quite so hard on alignment.

You can do a lot of this from a chair, if you’re not yet ready to be on the floor.

If you do the class and have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!

Singing class update!

I meant to write about this much closer to when it happened (Monday the 14th), but the week got away from me really fast. (Side note: Is anyone else feeling just extra time smooshed lately?)

Singing class…

I had Craig drive me because it was starting to get dark AND I was so damn nervous that I didn’t want to even think about how to get there or parking or anything.

I walked in and there were a LOT of kids there, coming and going for their various lessons. The thing that made me giggle right away was the “welcome our new students” sign that had my name on it.

I figure everyone else on that was likely under the age of 12. HA

My teacher arrived right on time. Molly. She’s 27 so I could be her mom. (Another HA)

But here’s the thing. Before I went I told Craig, “I am just focusing on thinking that this Molly person is basically me but with singing instead of dance… She just wants me to LOVE singing and she just wants me to HAVE singing in my life…and she just believes in me automatically because I am showing up.”

Well… somehow I manifested a mini me. We had so much in common from music to being sci-fi/fantasy nerds to thinking a lot about neurodivergence and yes… her thoughts about teaching singing are exactly mine about getting people to dance: that we’re meant to do this.

She also kept reminding me that my fears around singing won’t just magically disappear and that this will take time. That helped because I would have expected myself to be clear of fear at our next lesson. Which is redonk.

We talked a LOT but we finally did some warm up stuff. She offered me two options that my body immediately rejected and then during a third she was using the sound “me” and I said…yeah… but could you make up some words instead of just that syllable?

Which she did and then I was fine! Well, I was okay to warm up with her.

Then she asked me to sing something I like with it playing on my phone. I chose this.

I WAS SO DAMN NERVOUS, but when I closed my eyes at one point, I felt like she got to kinda hear what I actually sound like.

And LIKE ME as a teacher, she was often saying things like, “OH! THAT WAS GOOD!” Just what I need. (Just what we all need.)

I learned that I’m an Alto TWO; thus my love of singing with tenors.

I have another lesson Monday the 21st and I am making a singing playlist on Spotify and practicing a bit each day.

I’m obsessed. Which is when I’m at my healthiest.

What will you regret?

I’ve told these two stories before but they’re important to me. They’re what I call “joy gems.” They’re touchstones and talismans.

One of the my favorite memories: I am about 4 and I am staying with my GrandAunt Ardelle and she’s in the kitchen making us dinner. I’m singing about that fact. When I stop, she yells, “MORE!” and I hear her laughing her laughter that was so full of love.

Another with her: I was about 13/14 (she would die when I was just 15) and we are visiting. I am sitting on the small settee with my mother, and Ardelle asks me what I think I want to be when I grow up. I know. My heart is full of it and has been full of it since I was so small, but I say, “I don’t know” and shrug in that teenager way, and she says, “OH! I always just thought you’d be a singer!” So offhanded, so SURE sounding.

I took those words and those memories and I stored them. Over the years, I learned to hide this part of me… this part of me that was pure and raw desire.

But I got too good at hiding it and the thing I loved most in this world — even more than dance (but thank God for dance) — this thing I loved most became this thing that I feared most.

I sing but only by myself in very limited and hidden ways.

And I lay awake at night some nights and I KNOW this is what I will regret.

I will regret this hiding of my voice… a hiding of a singing voice that results, of course, in a hiding of my larger truer voice in this world.

I think, even my writing voice is not yet my truest voice because I hide my song.

No more.

Monday the 14th at 5 PM I have a voice lesson — a half hour assessment to meet a teacher and see if we can work together and then I’ll start weekly classes.

Thinking of this MAKES. ME. WANT. TO. PUKE.

I want to cancel. I won’t cancel.

I think I might die. I probably won’t.

My heart races and my skin gets clamy even at the thought of this half hour on this coming Monday.

But I will go and I will report back.

And I want to know from you: what will be your regret? What small movement can you take toward eradicating it?

End of the Year Session and A New Drop In Option

The last session of the year for classes is a November/December, six week session with weeks off at the end of December.

I’ve replaced the usual Tuesday/Thursday Quickie with Quickie BalletOm, which some of you may remember taking with me at various places. It’s a 30 minute version.

There’s a Tuesday and/or Thursday Peony Method.

Go here for registration and more information.

But there’s something new that I’ve not done in FOREVER:

Drop in opportunity...

I don't usually do drop ins, but after last session when I let a new student into the Thursday version of the Peony Method, it struck me that a) the Thursday session is NOT for newbies. (You can take ANY class with me and then you'd be fine in Thursday.)

And b) I COULD let people do drop ins during the Tuesday class because that tends to be more of a fundamental/foundational approach to the Peony Method (which is appropriate no matter what level you're at).

SO...

For the end of the year session, which is six weeks during November and December, with time off at the end of the year, I'm opening Tuesdays up to drop ins.

HOW IT WORKS

You need to contact me directly either on Facebook or via email or in response to this newsletter and let me know what Tuesday you’d be interested in.

A drop in is $20 so I'll give you my email to either PayPal or Venmo that.

Once I get that, I'll give you the instructions about how to be in and do the class.

I hate running so why am I doing it?

I’m not. I’m not technically running. I’m slow jogging, which is a very different thing.

But first… WHY? I’ve been uber clear about how much I hate running. It just doesn’t feel good in my body. But a couple of years ago, I think it was that long, I heard about this concept of slow jogging and I watched a video and thought it made sense. Still… wasn’t interested.

Then along comes tennis and one of my biggest issues is my legs aren’t fast enough. (My cardio also sucked the first couple of times but that improved quickly.)

I knew I needed something to support not just my tennis but the things I envision for my dance work in the coming years.

So the other day, I was on my desk treadmill and some good music was playing and I wanted to go faster but I was barefoot. I turned up my speed and found myself very naturally… slow jogging.

I looked up more videos, and yep, my body, in bare feet at just the right speed, had naturally done the technique correctly.

You keep everything low like walking, back straight up, land on the balls of your feet, and don’t try to kick the ground away.

You should be able to talk or sing quite easily or you’re going too fast.

There are a ton of benefits but just a few to start:

1. This is super kind to your joints. Unlike with full out jogging/running, you’re very unlikely to injure yourself.

2. It still gives you all the aerobic advantages while also…

3. Preparing you to go faster (if that’s a goal).

4. And for women in peri/menopause, this is great for our freaking hormones and metabolism.

Right now I’m starting small and easy, only going for about ten minutes at a time on my treadmill in bare feet.

Over time, I’ll add longer bits, but this is perfection. I FEEL FANTASTIC after but don’t feel gross or out of breath. It’s the perfect balance of ease and challenge!

Here’s a video about all of this, but even just watching the beginning (wait until the woman in pink joins him), you’ll see the technique pretty clearly.

Another way to get going is to do one minute of this, then one minute of walking, and so on. (Slow jogging intervals.)

Tennis came to teach me all the things I have been forgetting

My favorite tennis partner

Where to begin… I haven’t played tennis since my late 20s and now I’m 53.

When Craig and I were first dating, he used to say to me that he thought it would be fun if we could be a runner couple. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No.

If you know me well enough, you are laughing along with me. I hate running. I did a running experiment for a while and I accomplished my goal — to run a straight mile without stopping or feeling like I was going to die — and then I stopped. Just like that. Because like I said, I hate running.

But that said, I understood what he wanted: something we could do together. Beyond going to the gym or practicing pilates at home. Something more… engaging.

So he started asking me to play tennis, knowing I had played when I was younger. I had been thinking about it for quite some time before I even met him, but I always decided no because dance was(is) my life and I thought, why do something during which I could get injured and be limited in my dancing?

But then I had two frozen shoulders over the course of the last year or so. Due to no sudden injury. They just… happened (which they can). I got shots but not surgery and I worked my ass off by myself with not PT besides my own PT to get my shoulders back in working order.

Every. Single. Day.

One is 100% better and the other lingers around 95% (but I know that will also get to 100).

And then suddenly, one morning not too long ago, I announced to him out of the blue that we would be buying rackets that day. (This is often how I function. Seemingly suddenly but there’s been a lot going on in the background.)

I have loved the sport of tennis since I was a tiny girl, sitting just outside the fence, watching her father play. (He was truly gifted. For real.) I would sit with the big red thermos (you probably had one like it), and just watch … for hours.

When I got to be about 8, I think, he would then let me hit a few balls when he was done, and so it started.

I got on the boys’ tennis team in high school because there was no girls’ team and so they had to let me try out and I succeeded. But I never got as good as I could have because I didn’t work hard. I half assed. (That’s another and longer story.)

Around the age of 23, I was playing tennis at a court at Penn State Behrend and the tennis coach got all excited, thinking I was a student, and telling me he could probably get me some scholarship money. He had seen me rush the net and play hard, something that was rare for him to see in those days from a female player.

Alas, I was no longer a student but the memory is a loved one, for sure.

Fast forward to about a month ago, we got our rackets, and got home late, so we waited until the next day to go play.

I was so freaking nervous. I have serious public performance anxiety with everything BUT dance. I hate people seeing me struggle. (Another long story right there.)

I told him, “If there are a lot of people already playing, I’m not playing. You can just practice serving.” He was okay with that.

There were a lot of people playing. But I got on the court and the second I bounced the ball, I was in it.

And I kinda sucked. OF COURSE I DID. It’s been about 25 years. But I also kinda… didn’t.

We play about three times a week and here’s the point of this long blog… I am relearning all the things that dance taught me at the age of 40.

First, play is the most important thing we can do for our mental health. Do something you love but here’s the kicker… do something that makes you LAUGH. I LAUGH a lot on the court.

But also? Do something that you love that brings out your inner “warrior.” I growl and yell on the court just as much as I laugh. Guess what? I am having just as much fun whichever I am doing.

Second, when I am moving on the tennis court, there is NOTHING ELSE IN MY WORLD. And in those moments, I am ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Dance taught me that at 40 and I was a bit shocked when I realized that tennis was teaching me the same lesson. Again, do the things you love… the physical things… because it is this level of embodiment that brings us into a state of total alignment with ourselves and this life.

Third, I am built to move. So are you. So are all of us. But I am really really built to move. I mean, there is no depression, no anxiety, no anything but the true me when I am moving. (Again, same for you. You just need to find right things.)

Fourth, I love life when and after I move. Because we are bags of chemicals and movement stirs up all the good ones.

I’m sure there’s more but that’s enough for now.

Go play! Now!

Why Slow?

““The times are urgent; let us slow down.””

— — Bayo Akomolafe

When we practice slow in the Peony Method, it's not just to practice being physically slow. Though it is that to some degree, as slower physical practices are, truly, more challenging.

Why? To start, you can’t “cheat” with momentum. Going slowly, you’ll also feel more — including if you’re pushing past a limit of some sort that could lead to injury.

You’re also able to observe your body’s strengths and deficiencies more closely.

If you DO have an injury, you can take your time working around it… flirting with its edges, deciding what to work with and what to let rest.

Slow practices also allow more focus on good breath work but also on different types of breath work. (If you’ve been in my classes, one example would be when we only move during suspended inhales or exhales.)

But beyond all of this (and I’ve really only started to touch on the physical advantages of slow), the slow in the Peony Method is about the emotional/mental/spiritual aspects of your BodyMind.

We hear our body’s messages more clearly. We hear where things might be stuck — whether old trauma, recent grief, or any emotion that is in need of your attention. It’s all in the body, of course.

We hear our heart's truth better when we slow down. The heart can speak in whispers and our busy, chaotic world is often too much for it.

We hear/feel our connections when we’re slower — whether to ourselves, our wiser self, something bigger, each other.

Truth, wisdom, the next move, the right idea… it all has the space it needs to arise and get your attention when we’re moving slowly.

This is not to say that faster movement doesn’t have its own set of pros. But our culture — including our movement culture — prizes FASTER, BIGGER, BETTER.

The Peony Method is the antidote to all of that.

Empathy isn't just for the hard stuff...

(I wish I could find the study I was reading because it was important but you know how … SQUIRREL!… And I’ve tried to find it again and just can’t. If I do find it some day, I’ll come back to this and update it.)

Onward… I was reading a study recently that came to the conclusion that perhaps — perhaps — almost 50% of the human population lacks the brain connections for true empathy.

Read that and weep. Or not.

If that stat is even close to true, it explains a lot about our world. It explains a lot about the seemingly endless struggle between people who focus on their own concerns and those who wish to better the world for everyone. (To put it all in compact and polite terms.)

That’s the macro look at it, but on the micro level, it can explain struggles we have with family and friends and even strangers when it comes to understanding motivations, the extension (or not) of care, the tangles we get in to over expectations, and on and on.

We are truly playing with different decks.

But with all of that, I bet in your mind, you’ve been focusing on the idea of empathy around difficult challenges.

There’s more to empathy than that and I’ve always sensed it but didn’t have the language for it.

It’s something I have been conscious of doing in my work since the beginning. I intuited that a huge part of what I do is really about making space for people to feel their feelings including BIG JOY.

That picture at the top… I love that moment between the two women on the right (Mara and Julie). They aren’t talking. They are simply finding shared joy in their playful embodiment.

Turns out there is language for this: Empathic Joy.

You can listen to a short podcast about the science of it right here.

Science, schmience… as usual it comes from an ancient philosophical/”religious” system: Buddhism.

And in Buddhism, it’s a practice. Of course, it is.

Mudita: sympathetic or unselfish joy, or joy in the good fortune of others. In Buddhism, mudita is significant as one of the Four Immeasurables.

(The other four immeasurables are: love, compassion, and equanimity. You can read more about them all over here.)

When someone gives us good news, do we start to think about our own lack of good news or are we just totally present to them, reflecting their experience back to them?

When we see a happy person out in the world, does that make us feel grouchy or judgy? Or do we take the opportunity to feel good with and for them?

This is the practice: all day long, watching for those moments of knee-jerk reactions that are grounded in jealousy or malice and checking them and replacing them.

I love this.