JoyMusic: Something to Move to

Today’s two pieces of music that I will encourage you to move to are from two of my favorite people and I know many of my students will be just as geeked as I am.

Remember that “moving” is a range of ideas. You could lie in bed or sit in a chair to explore these two pieces. You could go outside and see what happens there. You could full out dance.

The bigger point is to breathe and wait, as I say, and then to simply ALLOW. What WANTS to happen in your body when you listen to each of these pieces.

So to start! PETER GABRIEL has a new song called, of all things, ROAD to JOY. (Is he in my head!?!?)

There are two versions of this song: bright side and dark side. They’re VERY similar but I find the dark side version to be… muddied.

Next up!

HAUSCHKA! AND IT’S NOT MOVIE MUSIC! He’s releasing a new album this October and this is the first thing he’s sharing:

Let me know what you think and what happens for you!

JoyList: things I'm loving right now and hope you do too

And we will dive right in:

In response to an observation about a list of music being predominantly men in the sanctuary recently, I am creating (and will continue to add to) a women artists only joyful/happy/energy music list.

I suggest you listen on shuffle or you could use this list for a daily dance song. Just hit shuffle and say to yourself, “I will dance/move to whatever comes up!” (Music roulette like we used to play in the Erie studio.)

Not so joyful but very necessary is the following book I’m currently reading about Deep Medicine. It is laying new territory in my brain, to say the least, and I expect it will eventually impact the way I teach (if it hasn’t started to already).

My favorite quote so far (and I’m only a wee bit in): “…medicine is a social science and politics is nothing but medicine on a grand scale.” (The authors are quoting 1848 journal, Medical Reform.)

For a novel that has many of the same themes but told in a beautiful way, Everything the Light Touches or the most recent by one of my forever favorite authors, Louise Erdrich. If you go to that book link, you’ll be at my Goodreads.

If you need some happy mood lifting, I’ve been sharing quite a few kitten and flower videos on my TikTok. Excellent for mental health.

OH! If you haven’t gotten it yet, Katy Bowman’s newest book is so worth it. If you’re new to her work, it’s a great introduction to biomechanics in a practical way, and if you’ve been reading her and listening to her for a long time, it’s a great little refresher and go to resource for quick ideas and explorations. (If I already shared about this book, oops… and I’m not getting any kind of kickback. HA!)

Speaking of Katy, there’s a delightful and long conversation with her on this podcast. Use it for many walks!

Here’s one of my favorite current video/background sounds that I put on the TV all day long when I’m writing and working and moving. It’s enough to keep other weird noises covered but it also doesn’t interfere with my thinking.

And finally just a little reminder that I have a super small, private Facebook group now that is totally focused on neurodivergent brains. If you need community around that topic, feel free to ask to join.

And as always, if you’re not in the JoyBody Sanctuary or if you left and want back in, again, just ask to join. Doors are always open. As I currently describe it, it’s a soft place to land and a refuge from the hardness of the world.

JoyBody: Sometimes healing is about not healing

My new racket which is such a beauty: Babolat Pure Drive

Continuing this week’s explanation of our new blog categories, today’s is JoyBody. Of course. But this is more than it appears at first glance.

When I say JoyBody, sometimes I will mean a singular experience of our individual bodies. (Today’s post is very much along those lines.) But often I will mean our communal body and things affecting the larger ecosystem in which we all live.

Singular JoyBody only exists in relation to all other JoyBodies and all of that only exists in relation to the larger eco/social/cultural/familial systems. We work on ourselves in what seems to be individual ways but in reality is always connected — in process and/or outcome — to the collective and its context.

Onto today’s musings:

From the time I was quite young, I had someone whom I adored make it clear to me that my thighs were… too much. I was only about 10 the first time this happened in a very direct, said to my face kind of way, and it was painful and confusing, to say the least. I remember just standing there in my favorite yellow shorts wondering what it all meant.

From that day forward, I was always conscious of my thighs. And I continue to be to this day.

I've worked so hard on so many levels of CRAP but this one... it's like a tap root.

So I don't wear anything shorter than right below my knees. Been like this forever. And it has nothing to do with the size or shape of my body. I have ranged from a size two to a 14 and no matter what... no thighs shown.

So recently I went shopping, thinking I should*/could confront this and find some shorter things especially for tennis. There's a ton of cute skorts out there right now. And playing tennis is a HOT thing to do and I’ve always wanted to be that tennis dress wearing girl. Currently, I wear right below the knees yoga pants on the court and they are okay but also so freaking warm.

(*Always, always beware the word should.)

Off I went shopping. I tried on a couple of skorts that were perfect for tennis, and even though I was deep breathing in the fitting room, I just COULD. NOT.

So then there's THAT layer of shame, right? "What is wrong with me? I work so hard on trauma and help others with body based trauma? WHY CAN'T I GET OVER THIS?"

That's what I refer to as "adding shit icing to an already shit cake."

NO.

What's another way to look at this then? I think I figured something out...

Here's part of what it means to love yourself and love your body:

Wear things that MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. Wear things that MAKE YOU FEEL CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE.

Period. There's no magic measure of "you only are healed if you show this much of yourself publicly." That's bullshit.

Wear things that make you love your life and give you the ability to focus on joyful things.

And finally: we can only heal what's READY to be healed and in the meantime? HUGE SELF COMPASSION AND PATIENCE is the path.

When I shared this story with people in the sanctuary, someone mentioned a story about their therapist saying the most helpful thing ever: Sometimes healing is just making space for the thing that might not ever “heal” to the place where we imagine it “should.”

Amen.

Re/Joy: Slow Summer Update

As I wrote yesterday, I’ll be creating daily categories for the blog, and Tuesdays are about a process that I, quite a while ago, named the Re/Joy Project. There will be a lot more about this in the near future, including a podcast, but for now a brief explanation:

The concept of the Re/Joy Project is simply that we can create a process (one I’ll share over time) to reintroduce deep joy into our lives regardless of what’s happening. We’re big enough internally to do this sort of process even in the midst of grief.

The process is based in noticing and naming.

For this summer, I’m re/joy-ing by exploring the idea of Slow Summer.

I’ve always had a difficult time transitioning from the quiet of winter into the louder and more frenetic energies of late spring and summer. Suddenly everything is just SO MUCH! And most humans seem to think that we must fit in ALL THE THINGS in this bit of time when our bodies really want to be slow and languid. I mean, there’s freaking HEAT… stop moving around so much ((ha)).

Besides the sticky expenditure of energy, I feel like we miss a lot running from one activity to the next, running to “vacation,” running to another picnic or party. People seem so damned stressed in the summer and it seems like it should really be the opposite of that.

Thus, Slow Summer 2023.

For starters, I’ve made sure to make more time to sit in the backyard under the trees and with our new baby gardens and read. I also just sit and breathe and listen to the birds.

And though it might sound intrusive, there is a very large construction site about a block behind us… I can see it through a space between the houses behind us… anyway, the smell of cut wood drifts to me and that brings to mind my paternal papa who was a finish carpenter.

It’s all utterly delightful.

What ways could you create slow in your summer?

JoyMoves: Stop with the efficiency!

When I wrote Blisschick starting, god, what? 18 years ago?!?!, I challenged myself to post 7 days a week for a full year (which I did and then I transitioned to five days a week and kept that up for quite a long time). To help with this challenge, I created categories for each day so that I had a built-in prompt for myself.

I’ve decided to do that here, so Mondays are JoyMoves day. You’ll see as we go what comes next. ((coy))

Mondays are for biomechanics, body stuff, relevant research that I come across, my own teaching materials, etc. You get it.

TODAY I want to talk about something that Dr. Susan Burwash (OT) wrote a bit about in a comment in the Sanctuary: efficiency and how she has come to realize that spending so many decades aiming toward efficiency of movement has led to… LESS MOVEMENT.

Of course, right? But we don’t see it until we see it.

Katy Bowman has written a ton about this, of course, and how modern conveniences, or any kind of convenience regardless of when it was developed, and our ideas of comfort are just things that have stolen a ton of fundamental human movement from our lives and inserted a lot of pain. (Her newest book is a great reminder for those of us who have been following her for a long time or a great intro if you’re new to her.)

Most of us end up working jobs to pay for those conveniences and comforts from a place of… convenience and comfort. You know… desk jockeys.

I’ve talked about this for years but there are simple ways we can start moving this particular needle and I would love to hear ideas from all of you, so I’ll start a tiny list:

• Park farther away from the store you’ve driven to;

• If you can, walk or ride a bike for errands;

• Don’t try to carry every single grocery bag in from the car in one trip — do multiple trips;

• Same for getting things from different parts of the house — don’t try to do it all at once;

• If you can, hang clothes out in the summer months (all that reaching overhead!);

• Spend time washing some dishes by hand (there’s nothing quite like the meditation of it if you can slow down and just enjoy the process);

• Do things SLOWER (this is a big theme for me that last few years as I’m sure you’ve noticed): walk slower, move from task to task slower, eat slower, etc.;

• Squat for a bit (you can do this assisted by a yoga block under your bum; it still “counts”) when you’re watching TV;

• Stretch when you’re watching TV;

• DO SOMETHING with your body if you’re watching TV (I lift weights and do pilates and some fundamental joint work);

• Find ways to fidget when you do have to be seated at a desk (bounce your legs, for example);

• Have an adjustable desk and make sure to spend time in different positions (even just changing your seat counts);

• Take stairs when they’re available instead of elevators and escalators.

Okay… your turn. You can respond to this or write me a note on Facebook… but I would love more ideas!

A good death

Cat Daddy and his Mr. Handsome

When I met Craig, I thought he might not stick around because of all of the cats! He even said at one point, “Oh… I don’t really like cats. I’m a dog person.”

Then he met Toby and Cat Daddy was born. He pretty quickly nicknamed him Mr. Handsome, and weirdly, the second Craig’s brother met Toby, not knowing anything about him, he said, “Well, hello, Mr. Handsome!”

Toby was that kind of cat. He was social and loved humans. He loved when I taught out of the house because he got to see “his ladies” many times a week, which meant many times a week, he was flattered and petted and loved more than usual. As he deserved. He was definitely the STAR.

But he also was the most nurturing cat I’ve ever met. He guided three of my previous elder cats to their deaths while he was a kitten. He would lay with them, warming them, and give them baths, which they no longer could do for themselves.

So when his own death came, it made perfect sense that he kept taking care of all of us.

He gave us time to get used to (not really but you know…) the idea that he was leaving. He eased into his final days with quiet and dignity and still cuddling.

And the night he transitioned out of his fur suit, he somehow let Cat Daddy know it was happening. Cat Daddy said, “let’s check on Toby” out of the blue. (Toby was right there with us but under a blanket. He had requested to be under that blanket about two hours before (very clearly to Craig) so I knew things were coming soon.)

Craig lifted the blanket, and I said, “Toby, I love you!” He lifted his head, tried to squint at me, and took his last breath.

It was night time so Craig positioned his little body with care, and we eventually went to bed. The next day, we laid Toby on the floor for a while so that the others could visit. We wanted to be sure they understood. (They did. They’ve all been really good.)

And then we finally took him to the funeral home to be cremated. We’re lucky to have a funeral home in this city that has an actual separate animal space. (It’s amazing.)

I wanted to write about this for a few reasons.

First, so many of you who have taken classes with me loved Toby too. Everyone who met him did.

Second, we were lucky enough to be able to do this for Toby… to give him this dignified end at home with everything and everyone he loved. If you are able, I highly recommend it. For a thousand reasons. And if you’ve never done this, please never hesitate to ask me questions because it can certainly feel scary. I’ve done it before so I was able to alert Craig to different phases we were entering so he wouldn’t be too very surprised.

But beyond that, I also want to say, if you couldn’t do this in the past or can’t do it now, please don’t judge yourself. We can only do what we are able.

Things I love and use

There’s a new page on this site that’s not a blog page, so I thought I should alert people to it: things I love and use.

And you know I love to name things pretty literally so I don’t think there’s a need for any explanation beyond: the page is all about my favorite stuff around movement and the body and mobility and pain management.

And I’m not an affiliate or anything so this is for real my fave stuff.

Two Free Invites: Brains and Disco (It will make sense in a minute...)

Recently I’ve started two new habits/groups of sorts and I’ve started them small (and actually VERY small with the disco) so I could see how it would go and then open it up to more of you lovely humans.

First up, BRAINS! If you are a person with any kind of, what we call now, neurodivergence, we would love to have you in our private Facebook group, Beautiful Brains.

I realized I was constantly coming across information and videos and my own schtuff and I didn’t want it to overwhelm the JoyBody Sanctuary, so it definitely needed its own space. We have just under 40 members now, and the conversations are so helpful. It feels good to know we’re not alone in our different way of engaging with the world and the different ways our brains process.

This group would include anyone on any kind of spectrum, Autism, ADHD, OCD, C-PTSD, etc. And often, of course, with different brains, there’s lots of comorbidity.

Send me a note either here or on Facebook and tell me you want in and I’ll get you set up.

Second, DICSO! In order to get myself to move more on days I don’t teach, I knew I needed some body doubling help. I found a perfect companion and we got started and then we quite naturally added about 3 other people. Not everyone shows up each time but it’s enough to keep us going.

We only do this on Wednesdays and Fridays. We meet on zoom at 9 AM (Eastern) and we are each trying to stay on for about 30 minutes. We don’t talk. We just wave to each other and get started. (We all have video on because that’s part of the helpfulness but we’re all muted because we’re each doing our own music and our own movement.)

Again, let me know if you want to be included. This is a no pressure sort of group… both of them actually.