wild devotion

Embodied Revolution

I shared a study recently on Facebook that showed TOO MANY young people would rather get infected with Covid19 than GAIN WEIGHT. (A study done by the Missouri University Center for Body Image Research and Policy.)

We KNOW that this culture HATES BODIES. Period. Notice I didn't say "bigger bodies."

It extra hates bigger bodies. The stories it constructs about productivity and worthiness around larger bodies are some of the worst and most destructive.

But it hates bodies, period. American culture is born of a Protestant disdain for the human form and a belief that only in death can we attain any “holiness.”

Every body is TOO -- too fat, too skinny, too curvy, too straight, too hairy, too bald, too sexy, too fem, too masculine, too sexual, too androgynous, too muscled, too flabby, too soft, too hard, too brown, too pale, too too too too too too too...

We are, one way or another, taught to HATE OUR BODIES. PERIOD.

Why?

Yes... you probably guessed part of it... because people who hate their bodies will buy products.

But deeper than that -- people who hate their bodies will bow to the will of anything outside of themselves that promises they might eventually, some day, maybe sorta feel okay about themselves.

In the meantime, people who hate their bodies enact violence on themselves and then that extends beyond their individual body to the larger bodies of family, community, earth.

One way or another, each of us projects our body hate onto someone/something else, and it's how this whole system in which we live works.

So when I say the work we do to EMBODY is SUBVERSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY, I MEAN IT.

When we embody in a loving way, we then act from love and we project LOVE into the world.

Love is already complete. It needs nothing. And it shares all things.

See how that could destroy power structures?

I'm not here, I'm not doing this work, so you can dance a little and feel some dopamine...

I'm here and I'm doing this work SO WE CAN CHANGE THIS FUCKING WORLD. 

More Water, Please

Tirta Empul Temple, Bali, a temple to water

Tirta Empul Temple, Bali, a temple to water

My anger is getting way too consuming, and I’m sure I’m not alone but I can feel it doing damage to my body and spirit and mind at this point. So…

I’m a Scorpio. For most of my life, I’ve thought I was a fire sign. I know… whatever. I can be dense.

I sure can ACT like a fire sign. I can be assertive ((cough)). I don’t fear debate or argument. If I feel like someone is being treated unfairly, I come in with guns blazing. I’m protective of people and animals. I want JUSTICE. I don’t hesitate to burn something down that is no longer serving me.

And yet… most of that? Makes me uncomfortable if I am being honest, which I am, because I am. ((ha))

There are too many reasons to get into that explain WHY I am like this but this Fire Me is not my truest self and thus the discomfort.

I am, after all, a WATER sign.

Even if you don’t like the astrology stuff, I am connected to water and always have been.

I’ve had two near drownings but still go back in.

I taught myself to swim in an Olympic sized (and very busy) pool when I was barely six years old and had no adult supervision.

I live on a great lake and visit her multiple times a week. I think about moving but can never get past the idea of not having this giant water presence in my life.

There is this soft, gentle body of water inside my own body that wants very much to be set free. I built a damn around that part of myself long ago — or experiences helped create that dam — and then I set a ring of fire ablaze around all of it.

Right now, as I seem to live and breathe toxic anger and rage over this government, this president, and then this awful handling of this awful virus, I finally feel like I am hitting my tolerance point for heat. I finally can feel that that fire is depriving me of oxygen.

So what to do? Firstly, to release this fiery anger self and second, to welcome back the flow of water.

Even if you haven’t long lived with this kind of destructive anger, you might be feeling it now, and so I thought I’d share some resources I’ll be using to work with water.

Primarily, of course, I’ll be doing things at the lake. Sitting with her, meditating on her beaches, and doing ablution practices when it gets warmer.

But here’s a WATER SALUTATION that I found. Yep, there is one! Who knew!?

I invited the Hindu Goddess Kali into my life many years ago and I wasn’t sorry for it (some people call on her and get a bit more than they bargained for). I’m going to consciously start working with her again. Here’s a decent article that includes some background about Kali and a starter sort of ritual (just writing and meditating) at the end. I approve of the follow up dancing.

And here’s a great pagan sort of simple spell that includes (if possible) a visit to a body of water.

Finally, this is a Sanskrit mantra to the healing powers of water.

I’d love to hear if you try any of this or if you create your own ways of calling forth your water nature.

MELTDOWN!

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I'm quite certain I'm not alone...

Thursday was rough. I had a pretty big panic/anxiety meltdown, and I felt paralyzed by it. I have a great helper, who knows how to talk to me, but I am still the one who has to figure out how to rise up out of that quicksand and Thursday...I felt pretty damn stuck in it.

During such a meltdown, of course, everything gets exaggerated and nothing feels like it could possibly help.

All the tools in your toolbox suddenly seem like GIANT JOKES existing only to prove how awful you are or how little hope there is in the world.

Eventually I dragged myself off the bed.

During times like this, even *I* CANNOT bring myself to dance. It's THE tool, but even I just cannot.

BUT I can do other smaller things. If I can get myself to start with the idea of just 5 minutes of pilates -- something concrete and directed -- that can turn into so much more as the healthy brain chemistry starts to reassert itself.

Thursday, that was exactly what happened. I started with a video of 25 minutes of pilates (with no promise that I would finish).

Why a video? I need someone else guiding me; I can't possibly do this myself when I am feeling that badly.

From there, I moved onto a 10 minute core video.

THEN, only then, after 35 minutes of soaking my brain in some endorphins, was I able to approach some free movement, and even for that, I stayed on the floor.

I stayed on the floor and focused on my breathing and waiting and allowing and noticing.

The very basic principles of what I teach.

And as always, quite suddenly, I was fascinated by the workings of this body.

And as always, quite suddenly, I was out of the asshole brain and completely in the whole of myself.

Because here's the thing: your brain is just ONE ORGAN.

When we rely on it exclusively, we easily become rather dumb.

When we dive into the entirety of ourselves and tap into the wisdom of the full body ecosystem... that is the pathway out.

A Positive Practice for Difficult Times

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I feel like, if we took this quote seriously, if we really dug into what this quote is asking of us… I know this will sound like hyperbole but it’s not… I believe this could heal the whole damn world.

We need a change in perspective, or when this virus crisis is over, we will simply fall back to the way things were. And the way things were was not working.

But we can’t make external, societal changes without changing how we work on the inside.

We need a change in perspective.

Changing the way we work on the inside is the only way we’ll have a clue as to how we can change the outside.

Otherwise we are lost.

For now, let’s focus on what we love about ourselves and let’s follow that trail of bread crumbs.

The main thing I love about myself is my ability to be totally and completely FASCINATED by and in awe of life and learning.

So for right now, I’m going to deep dive back into my tantra studies that I lost track of in all the world-level anxiety. I’m also going to deep dive even more into my movement work which is somehow the one thing that has been really GOOD right now… at a time when it feels difficult to do much of anything.

How about you?

Life is Change (said the control freak)

Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you’re doing the impossible.
— St. Francis
My view while I’m teaching via Skype and Facebook Live.

My view while I’m teaching via Skype and Facebook Live.

I’ve been offering things online — even live streaming — probably for almost 8 years, so that part of what’s happening was pretty easy for me to adjust to. And I don’t mind teaching online. I get to stay home in my little space and the overhead is, well, nothing.

It’s not been as easy for my local students who were used to being in the same room with each other. But they have learned/noticed rather quickly that community is community whether it’s 3D or not. The energy of our work is not dependent on proximity. It’s dependent upon trust and vulnerability.

But this is not to say I have not been challenged. I have been… BIG TIME.

This change has sent me (as I’m sure it has many) into a time of profound questioning.

What do I want to do in this world and why and how do I want to do it?

Am I spending my time well?

What if every moment of our time here really really matters (it does) and what it we treated it that way (we don’t)?

Recently, I had made some decisions about the “branding” of my work. (Branding is the word that works but it’s not my favorite.)

I’ve come to realize that those decisions were based in a fear about my own vulnerability.

I freaking TEACH people to allow vulnerability, to feel it, to know that it’s the only path to our truest expressions.

And I have discovered that I myself was still shying away from it.

I don’t think I would have noticed this so quickly if it hadn’t been for what we are going through collectively. I think I could have continued to fool myself about myself for quite some time.

But here we are…

Having our protective layers forcibly removed by circumstances.

Every generation has defining moments like this, and if we are lucky and if we are already a bit awake (though groggy), we will notice and we will evolve.

I’m trying to focus on the truth of that.

Quiet...

I’ve always spent a lot of time at our Peninsula here on this Great Lake, and so going there to “blow the stink off,” as my Nana always said, is a natural reflex for me during this time of social isolation.

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What’s surprising is the way we walk past each other with our guard up… swerving a bit as if to say, “there you go… there’s your six feet.”

We’re just generally… shyer with each other, aren’t we?

And because so many people are mainly staying at home, the other surprise is the QUIET. It’s that kind of quiet that you normally only hear on these paths during the winter months. Deep and thick with beauty and mystery. You hear your own breath and every sound that the trees and land around you have to offer, from subtle crackling of leaves to the bird calls beckoning from the summer that is still to come.

I don’t like why this gift has presented itself, but I will not turn this gift away.

When I’m walking along the lapping shore, I no longer bother with headphones and podcasts. When I’m walking, I’m no longer aiming to go faster and cover more ground.

When I’m walking, I’m just walking.

Do You Remember Why We Used to Blog?

I think I started blogging about 12 years ago or a bit more. It was when blogging was still all about writing and connecting and inspiring one another and creating community. It was exciting and new(ish) and it was before anyone was thinking about “monetizing.” Ads on blogs were barely ever seen and Amazon was only just about to create the affiliate program. (I may be off on some of these dates but this was my perception when I started.)

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Some of you may still be around from when I started and you’ll remember that I began blogging under BlissChick. For the first year, I blogged seven days a week without missing, and then I transitioned to 5 days a week and stuck with that for some time. I had daily topics … you know, MusicBliss, BookBliss, InterviewBliss… you get it.

Blogging got me to love writing again, and the conversations that could ensue, even on a smallish blog like mine, were invigorating. We were making friends all over this globe. I loved watching my stats and seeing where my readers were coming from.

Some of the friends I made in those days are still friends to this day. Those friendships have deepened. I’ve met many of them in person. I was right about who they were every time but one! Pretty amazing stats.

Connections online are no less real than in 3D life. If you have shallow relationships in person, you’ll get the same virtually. If you’re a deep relationship person, the same will happen here. As I like to say, it’s all about the user, not at all about the tech.

Blogging like this changed my damn life and that is not hyperbole. I went to my very first dance based training at Kripalu because I felt a healthy and helpful obligation to my readers/friends to whom I had announced my intentions.

I would NOT have the life I have now had it not been for blogging.

So when someone I knew from way back when, Mindy Tsonas, announced she was going to start blogging again in this “old” way, I was immediately on board.

We need this now more than ever.

At the beginning of this year, I decided 2020 would be my year of beauty. Creating it, cultivating it, curating it.

If that sounds at all trite to you, then you don’t know beauty. Beauty is truth, vulnerability, passion. It has very little to do with aesthetics though there’s also that. The aesthetics, if it is true beauty, though, will always point to those deeper things…be merely a signpost pointing to something much more important.

And that is what Mindy intends to focus on… that sort of beauty… the kind that, again, creates connections and helps us to inspire one another and to be inspired … to be inspired, most importantly, to something MORE.

Thanks to Mindy, then, I’ll be here much more often again. I might even be setting up daily categories of content. For old time’s sake.