JoyBody: the collective body

The work we do under the name JoyBody doesn’t mean much if it’s just about our own individual bodies. That’s not even how humans work, right? We’re part of a larger ecosystem… or web. I am because you are. Period.

So I’ll be, here and there, highlighting communities that need our help and direct ways you can help, even just from your seat in front of this screen.

As you know, it’s pride month, and I want to highlight one part of the LGBTQIA+ community in particular: the trans community.

I’m highlighting the trans community, because I know and love some trans people, first and foremost, but secondly because I think their community is the most in need of our help right now. They are under attack in so many new and frightening ways.

I would start by getting more educated about all of this. Here’s a great article that explains the science of sex and gender and how complicated it is.

Here’s a great FAQ about gender and all the different ways one can identify and the issues that can arise (like gender dysphoria).

If you feel like you don’t have a deep enough understanding of these issues, start with what I’ve provided and then don’t be afraid to ask questions. (The sanctuary is a safe place for everyone so feel free to ask there or you can write to me directly.)

From understanding, we need to move on to action. What can we do?

Firstly, look for your own state specific organizations working on these issues. Like here, we have Equality Ohio. I follow them on TikTok to keep track of what’s happening in our state government. (It’s a lot and it’s AWFUL.)

You can always start by simply giving money to these organizations, but you can help by showing up at protests and writing emails and making phone calls. We all have comfort zones and we all have skills we can offer.

If you want to see what’s going on nationally and internationally, check out Outright International. There’s also the Trans Legal Mapping Report.

In the US, there’s the Transgender Law Center, the Equality Federation (which can help you find your state based actions), and the National Center for Transgender Equality.

JoyMoves: the obstacles are the path

“The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Or to put it more succinctly: the obstacles are the path, as I say in the heading. So freaking annoying and so true.

If the obstacles don’t become the path or the way, then you’re resisting the truth and reality of your own life and that, I think, is what we’re actually experiencing when we say things like “I’m stuck… I don’t know what to do next… I have no visions…” or even when we say things like, “I don’t have time.”

The work of the practice is devotion to the obstacles.

If we aren’t devoted to the obstacles, then we’re not devoted to the practice.

(I know… I’m even annoying myself here…)

I’m writing particularly today about your movement practice, but you know that movement is life and therefore all the things we do in our movement practices are just reflections of what’s happening our life and how we’re approaching obstacles. (SO. ANNOYING.)

Here are some simple ways to work with your obstacles instead of allowing them to rob you of the practices that support and rejuvenate you and bring you to your essential nature of joy:

1. Time: THIS ONE IS BIG. Stop telling yourself that you have to move at a certain time and stop thinking that only certain amounts of time "count." Look for opportunities that you're missing because of these stories. For example, when you're waiting on your coffee or tea in the microwave, you can stretch, wiggle, bounce. THINK MICRO MOVEMENT PLAY.

2. Space: stop telling yourself that you need a special space or a certain amount of space. Great movement can happen in the square foot right around your body, in a chair, in the car.

3. Clothing/shoes: this one is also big. You don't have to take the time to change your clothes if that's going to stop you. Do whatever *IN* whatever. (And just free your feet and work barefoot -- if you're not already.) I often work in my jeans because if I have to stop to change, I’m just not going to do it.

4. Finding music: don’t let feeling bored by music stop you. Check out my Spotify and just randomly pick a list, hit shuffle, and move no matter what.

5. Boredom with how you’re moving: this is a big one and it happens to all of us, even me. We all hit points where we just feel like we’re repeating ourselves or nothing is happening that is interesting. This is where my videos can help (which are free) or make sure you’re in the sanctuary (which is free) to ask questions and get inspiration or take a class with me or schedule a one on one.

What other obstacles are you running in to? I would love to help figure out a way to work with them.

Two Free Invites: Brains and Disco (It will make sense in a minute...)

Recently I’ve started two new habits/groups of sorts and I’ve started them small (and actually VERY small with the disco) so I could see how it would go and then open it up to more of you lovely humans.

First up, BRAINS! If you are a person with any kind of, what we call now, neurodivergence, we would love to have you in our private Facebook group, Beautiful Brains.

I realized I was constantly coming across information and videos and my own schtuff and I didn’t want it to overwhelm the JoyBody Sanctuary, so it definitely needed its own space. We have just under 40 members now, and the conversations are so helpful. It feels good to know we’re not alone in our different way of engaging with the world and the different ways our brains process.

This group would include anyone on any kind of spectrum, Autism, ADHD, OCD, C-PTSD, etc. And often, of course, with different brains, there’s lots of comorbidity.

Send me a note either here or on Facebook and tell me you want in and I’ll get you set up.

Second, DICSO! In order to get myself to move more on days I don’t teach, I knew I needed some body doubling help. I found a perfect companion and we got started and then we quite naturally added about 3 other people. Not everyone shows up each time but it’s enough to keep us going.

We only do this on Wednesdays and Fridays. We meet on zoom at 9 AM (Eastern) and we are each trying to stay on for about 30 minutes. We don’t talk. We just wave to each other and get started. (We all have video on because that’s part of the helpfulness but we’re all muted because we’re each doing our own music and our own movement.)

Again, let me know if you want to be included. This is a no pressure sort of group… both of them actually.

When bad things keep happening...

It’s Tuesday, March 28th as I sit to write this. Today I had myself scheduled to make some new reels and videos. My books are full of work to be done. My planner has lists.

But I just couldn’t. Instead I’m writing here and then I’m going to take some time to do some reading… Buddhism. It seems to be my go to when I feel lost, angry, sad, grieving, and powerless in this world that more and more is being created in some sick image of an authoritarian God who judges and punishes, a world where the faithful are really the fearful, a world that values one particular “freedom” over all others.

On average, we are seeing one school shooting a week. A WEEK.

But this last shooting in Nashville has an added layer that is dangerous for an already marginalized group of people. This added layer is what those fearful “Christians” immediately grabbed on to, and within moments of the news, they started churning out hateful rhetoric that is inflammatory, dangerous, and actually, as usual, full of lies.

They are claiming that trans people are the new dangerous group. I won’t quote them, but I will quote some actual REAL and TRUE stats, which are easy enough to corroborate just by going through all the news stories yourself and counting but here:

"4 shooters out of over 300 mass shooters since 2009 are transgender or non binary. That's just 1.3 percent of all shooters," Anthony Zenkus, a lecturer in social work at Columbia University, wrote on Twitter. "You just proved our point: 99 percent of mass shooters in the United States are cis gendered.”

* Cis gendered male, to be more precise. For more of those stats and the rest of that article, go here.

As usual, our politicians, most of whom are the whores of the NRA and other violent groups, are trying to distract us from the reality that this country is sick, and specifically, that our love of guns in this country is a mental illness.

As a cis gendered woman who has had plenty of opportunity in my life to feel frightened and actually threatened by the men around her, I have never once thought, “I should carry a gun…”

As a person in a group of humans who is actually targeted with rape and murder, I have never thought that I should arm myself and prepare myself to kill another.

So what are all these cis gendered men who carry their AR15s into GROCERY stores so fucking frightened of?

They have bought into a story told to them from on high… that someone, some mysterious someone is out to get them. Though they themselves hold most of the power, they have bought into a story that their power is being threatened and can be directly protected with violence.

Again, we are sick.

And guns only make our sickness more obvious. Every other developed country that has instituted strict gun control (not even just the wimpy ass variety we’ve been begging for for decades) sees an immediate decrease in violence and death.

“But the criminals still have guns.” That falls flat when you take a real look at the stats for those countries just mentioned. I’m guessing they still have crime and criminals, but guess what they don’t have? Mass shootings. School shootings. Ever growing graveyards of children.

Statistically this country has more people who claim to be on the left than on the right. But the right has somehow highjacked our political system and is imposing their fear-based, ugly, violent, restrictive, and yes, fascist vision on this country. (You immediately become a fascist, FYI, when you ban books. Period.)

When I say they have somehow highjacked our political system what I really mean is that they have very intentionally squashed voter rights, instituted gerrymandering, and made their gun ownership as visible as possible so that the rest of us stay in place, too frightened to fight…

I don’t have any answers. And I don’t think it’s people like me stockpiling weapons themselves.

Because unlike most “Christians,” I actually believe in the nonviolent Christ who was very clear about weapons.

My mind is all over the place right now so I’ll end with a couple of suggestions:

First, if you’re not already, follow, support, whatever a gun reform group. This one is good.

Second, if you’re a trans ally, start being louder about it, and if for whatever reason, you feel like you can’t be louder, then be more supportive in other ways.

Here’s a national one you could support but every state and city has smaller groups that always need help.

Empathy isn't just for the hard stuff...

(I wish I could find the study I was reading because it was important but you know how … SQUIRREL!… And I’ve tried to find it again and just can’t. If I do find it some day, I’ll come back to this and update it.)

Onward… I was reading a study recently that came to the conclusion that perhaps — perhaps — almost 50% of the human population lacks the brain connections for true empathy.

Read that and weep. Or not.

If that stat is even close to true, it explains a lot about our world. It explains a lot about the seemingly endless struggle between people who focus on their own concerns and those who wish to better the world for everyone. (To put it all in compact and polite terms.)

That’s the macro look at it, but on the micro level, it can explain struggles we have with family and friends and even strangers when it comes to understanding motivations, the extension (or not) of care, the tangles we get in to over expectations, and on and on.

We are truly playing with different decks.

But with all of that, I bet in your mind, you’ve been focusing on the idea of empathy around difficult challenges.

There’s more to empathy than that and I’ve always sensed it but didn’t have the language for it.

It’s something I have been conscious of doing in my work since the beginning. I intuited that a huge part of what I do is really about making space for people to feel their feelings including BIG JOY.

That picture at the top… I love that moment between the two women on the right (Mara and Julie). They aren’t talking. They are simply finding shared joy in their playful embodiment.

Turns out there is language for this: Empathic Joy.

You can listen to a short podcast about the science of it right here.

Science, schmience… as usual it comes from an ancient philosophical/”religious” system: Buddhism.

And in Buddhism, it’s a practice. Of course, it is.

Mudita: sympathetic or unselfish joy, or joy in the good fortune of others. In Buddhism, mudita is significant as one of the Four Immeasurables.

(The other four immeasurables are: love, compassion, and equanimity. You can read more about them all over here.)

When someone gives us good news, do we start to think about our own lack of good news or are we just totally present to them, reflecting their experience back to them?

When we see a happy person out in the world, does that make us feel grouchy or judgy? Or do we take the opportunity to feel good with and for them?

This is the practice: all day long, watching for those moments of knee-jerk reactions that are grounded in jealousy or malice and checking them and replacing them.

I love this.

FREE 20 Minute Zoom Class to Help with Anxiety and Anger

This Friday, July 1st, I'll be doing a FREE QUICKIE (20 minutes) on Zoom specifically to deal with ANGER and FEAR and all the things we're feeling right now.

This is simple breath and movement work that can be done seated on the floor or in a chair. I always offer tons of modification.

This is also community ritual, which we definitely need more of right now (and forever).

We'll be doing a combo of a bunch of things I regularly use in the Peony Method (whether quickie or longer classes) that focus on the nervous system and creating happy brain chemical cocktails.

You can join without your camera on but I would love to see you!

We'll meet at 11:10 AM (United States, Eastern Time).

Once I see the interest, I'll get everyone the link.

Please let me know if you want to be included. You can give me a shout here or on Facebook messenger or anywhere where you and I interact.

I’ll also share a recording of this in the Sanctuary so if you can’t make it live, you can still access the work. (If you’re not in the Sanctuary, ask me to add you.)

Morning Nutbags Redux (with some changes)

When I started the Morning Nutbags morning zoom group for people to establish routines and rituals to create better starts to their days (and by “people” I mostly mean me… ha…), I really thought I would just do it for a couple of weeks.

That couple of weeks turned into almost 5 months. And then it just started to feel… off… or stale, and I thought maybe it had to do with the time of year we were entering into. Better weather, I thought, would negate the need for the group.

Now it’s been nearly two months without the group, and though at first, I was relieved not to have that responsibility Monday through Friday because you know… sleep, over the weeks it kept getting clearer and clearer to me how much I actually really need it.

And some in the group were meeting up here and there even during those months off. So others need it too.

New Format

We will be starting this group on Tuesday, July 5th.

This group will still be on Zoom. That’s the easiest thing.

We will start at 8:30 AM Eastern U.S. time. We will stay on zoom for about a half hour. At the end of the half hour, I’ll ring a little bell and we can say HAVE A NICE DAY! to each other.

But here’s the biggest changes:

There won’t be a waiting room so you come in between 8:30 and 8:35 AM. (No later so people aren’t distracted.)

You’ll enter muted and in silence because some people will already be doing their thing.

That’s it. No morning chat … not until AFTER if at all.

The point is to be there for each other energetically to help each other with our devotions.

When you enter, I might already be on the floor doing morning movement.

Or I’ll be writing.

Someone else might be meditating or painting.

That’s the point. It’s a quiet, supported room.

If you’re interested give me a shout on Facebook messenger.

I’ll create a group message where I’ll eventually share the link.

These times seem to be for breaking hearts

I shared this meme on my Facebook business page in the hours right before we knew what had happened in Uvalde, Texas.

And that night there was class to teach. Which seemed ridiculous, right?

Until one student said, “I knew this was one of the safest places I could be right now for my mental health.”

Amen and thank you.

Community has always been such a huge part of the classes I teach.

I can remember when I first started teaching in my very own space in Erie, and how many times, new students would come up to me afterward and tell me they’d never felt so instantly welcomed and safe… that when they went to yoga spaces in town sometimes they weren’t talked to. ((WHAT?!)) Or that exercise spaces just felt too competitive and there was none of that in our space.

Amen and thank you, again.

It seems that that has not changed at all on Zoom and that feels like a little miracle to me. That we can meet from across so many many miles, and still, the main thing that happens in class together is that we are present to one another and we move in compassion, witnessing and being witnessed in whatever is happening for us in that moment, whether articulated with words or silence.

Movement is life, for sure. These bodies are built to move (in whatever way currently capable) and it’s all written in our cells and DNA that this movement should be, needs to be joyful and communal.

And yet…

The real reason for these classes and the real reason for movement is that the best way for us to bond deeply is through these bodies, engaged in nonsexual intimacies that are SEVERELY lacking in our current culture.

We are aching to be seen.

We are dying to be heard.

Literally.

Anger, hatred, fear… if you trace it back to its very origins, it always comes to this: these people who walk around every day with hearts of stone (who may or may not act on that in a directly violent way)… these people are screaming inside to be seen and heard.

They don’t have the tools to know how to simply ask for what they need.

They either weren’t taught, or when they were quite small, those tools were used but denied.

These times seem to be for breaking hearts… I mean this in so many ways.

There is a breaking that is good and healthy. It’s the breaking that happens when we’re very young and we’ve learned that we are safe and it’s time to venture out on our own.

It’s the breaking that happens when we lose someone we loved more than we thought possible and yet we continue on and their memory becomes the foundation of our strength and hope.

It’s the breaking that teaches us what we want and need by showing us what we do not want and do not need.

It’s a breaking that too many have hardened themselves against and so they stockpile — whether it be guns or cruelty or hatred or shame or power over others.

We must also stockpile…

But we must stockpile inner strength, compassion, love, empathy, and a soft willpower that gets things done without hurting others.

We will likely not live to see the new world that will evolve from all that’s been happening over the last six years, but we must keep healing ourselves of these broken hearts over and over again so that we can go out beyond ourselves, beyond our smaller and safe communities like the ones in my classes, and do the larger work that is calling for us right now, the work that is begging to be seen and heard and done.

If you need community like this, if you need support, if you need safety, June classes are starting on June 7th, and we would love to welcome you.