The purpose of anger

I’m still feeling rather mute after yesterday. I didn’t watch the news, but I did stay a bit in touch with what was happening via some trusted (and non-dramatic) sources.

We knew this was coming, and as I’ve written about before somewhere (where???), I realized a couple of weeks ago that I’ve been living in a state of high alert and trauma response since the election itself. And since the holidays ended (a sort of marker in my mind that I was waiting for), I’ve basically been counting down the days until yesterday.

It’s as if I were standing and watching a very large monster coming toward me for many hours and I was under the illusion that because I could see him, that once he got to me, it wouldn’t be quite so bad.

Um… nope. The monster is terrifying.

Yesterday I got to the point of freeze. Utter despair. My heart felt like it was breaking. I told Craig that “I don’t know how to live in this world…”

I got up this morning, knowing I had to start teaching online again. “Had to…” More like “got to.”

I wasn’t sure how I could show up. But as always, the strength of our community held me and allowed me to be human as I did the same for them.

So as the day goes on, I am feeling little cracks appear in that despair.

Then someone in the Circle of Trees shared a video and the creator said something that really stood out for me (and I am paraphrasing):

ANGER IS MEANT TO GET US THROUGH FEAR. (Read that a few times.)

It’s meant to carry us across a seemingly uncrossable river of anxiety and fear and terror and the feeling that we can’t possibly.

But we can.

Feeling that anger, the energy of it, eventually carries us over all of that.

When we get to the other side, we might still feel a bit of fear and lingering rage, but we are on the shores of possibility, imagination, and action.

It is not our singular job to save the world. We can’t.

But with little tiny actions of our own unique sort (we all have a different purpose in this), it’s as if we are filling a well of goodness. A well others can drink from.

And the only way we can consistently and over the long haul continue to take any actions is by taking care of ourselves, by remembering that we’re not only allowed to but must feel and experience and build joy in our lives. We are not just here for the bad stuff. We’re here to be in awe, to be curious, to be playful, to be in healthy relationship, to hold others’ hands, to have our hands held, to be love and compassion for those in pain and for ourselves.

Sitting and watching that monster come toward me… that is not what I’m here for. And it’s not what you’re here for.

I don’t have answers but I’m coming up for air.

Growing our community muscles has to be a priority

From a recent local class.

Let me start by saying that a lot of us have grown, over our lives, complacent about community building. We tend to participate in communities that are convenient and easy.

This has been especially true since the pandemic, from which we learned to isolate more and more. Of course, this was necessary in terms of 3D human encounters to protect us all, but many of us gave up altogether even in the face of tools that could have kept our community muscles a bit more healthy.

So we enter into next week, into a new and potentially damaging paradigm, leaning again into isolation.

This won’t do.

Not if we want the coming years to be at all safe for women and marginalized humans. We can’t just sink into our aloneness and stay at home watching television and judge the world as it burns from our comfortable front windows.

We must commune with likeminded humans. We must build trust and companionship because that’s the foundation of the work that will call to us.

We must build this trust and companionship via shared story (and truth) telling.

We must embody this trust and companionship.

I’m convinced that this cannot only all be done in 3D but also if we are far away from one another via the very tools that many want to use to hurt us.

Tools are only as good as their users… whether this be the maps of religions or tech tools or hammers or communication.

And we must not desert these very powerful tools to those who would use them for evil. (Yes, evil.)

I will be staying, for example, on Facebook because it has a free private group function that no one else offers. I can use that to grow community.

But beyond that, I am staying because I will not let these spaces be taken over by hateful voices. I will be a compassionate voice. I will fight for the space that has given me so much.

And I will, of course, continue to teach online via zoom. The community that has grown in those classes since the start of the pandemic is as beautiful and deep and solid as any community in 3D that I am a part of. To say otherwise is to demean our basic, DNA level need and capacity to connect to one another regardless of circumstances.

So I come to you with two things.

If you’re not in the Circle of Trees on Facebook, ask me to add you.

Here’s a quick take on what goes on in there: It's a space where people feel really safe to share challenges -- and joys. We talk a lot about neurodivergence/neurospicy brains, and mental health, and of course. somatic/healing movement. The support in this space and the kindness and compassion are indescribable.

And as always, I have classes starting. They start next week, the week of the inauguration.

I, like most of you I assume, am grieving that inauguration, but I know, too, that I can’t stay stuck in grief, and being in somatic dance spaces with other humans is how I take care of my emotional and mental health so that I can be strong for myself and everyone around me.

You can register for Peony Somatic Dance classes right now.

Don’t hide. Don’t disappear. We need every single one of our voices out in this world. Now more than ever.

A few announcements!

First, as always, there’s a new session of classes starting the week of March 11th. Go here for information about quickie yoga and Peony Somatic Dance classes that are online.

Second, if you know Helen Yee (perhaps you’ve been in a class with her), you might not know that she’s an amazing violinist and composer, AND she just released a solo album that I’m currently playing on repeat. I think my students will love it for movement practice.

Go here to support her work. You can purchase the CD (which comes with digital download) or you can just do digital.

(And hey, if you have anything you’re releasing out into the world, please send me a message so I can highlight you in my/our spaces.)

Speaking of spaces, the third announcement comes with a lot of mixed emotions, but my overriding emotion is excitement and so I know this is the right choice: I’m shutting down the JoyBody Sanctuary after 12 years of running free, private Facebook groups. I need a break and I need that time and energy to work on other projects and writing.

That said, you should be seeing me here more.

You can go here to read what I wrote about the closing of the group. I’ll be archiving the group at some point on Monday, March 4th so until then you can comment and leave responses.

And finally, a short video from a class with Linda Soto. It’s blurry but I found this so beautiful that it’s worth the blur.

JoyBody and the values that underlie your embodiment intentions

Whether we’re wanting to create a deeper sense of embodiment or we want to move more and in different ways to experience the expression of this body, it can be a huge help to understand the values underneath your intended actions.

When we understand WHY, we’re less likely to give up on the what and how. When we understand and put the WHY first, we’re more willing to experiment and to see the what and how through a lens of curiosity and playfulness.

When we understand our WHY, we’re also less likely to get caught up in blame and shame or other people’s ideas about what we “should” be doing.

This is important stuff, to say the least, and I think most people don’t spend much, if any, time thinking about it or articulating it for themselves.

I’m going to talk about mine as an example:

Value one: physical strength and flexibility = mental health. The stronger I am physically, the stronger I am mentally. Period. They are inextricably linked.

Value two: creative expression. When I’m moving more, I get more creative with movement, sure, but I get more creative in every area of my life.

Value three: connection. When I’m moving more, I’m more deeply connected to myself and therefore have better connections to others, including healthier boundaries.

When I focus on those values instead of things like “I should exercise more,” then my movement time is more meaningful and I’m better at making the best choices for myself around movement and embodiment.

For example, if I focus on my values, I don’t give up but I also don’t punish myself or forget to nurture myself with appropriate rest, nutrition, and hydration.

Those values are in the driver’s seat.

You might notice, too, that these values are not things that are exclusive to movement but can be applied in every area of my life. That’s when we know we’re at the true core of things.

If you’ve never thought of it this way, just start to take a stab at it for yourself and I’ll help where I can. (Feel free to email, FB message, or write in the Sanctuary about this.)

JoyMusic: Something new to move to

Definitely how I feel.

I love that we have musicians and composers right in the midst of our circles, including in the sanctuary.

I want to encourage you to, firstly, look for women, nonbinary people, and people of color when you’re looking for new composers in particular. There are so many amazing composers out there who don’t fit the usual stereotype and are NOT, of course, getting the attention or the work that they deserve. (Side note: If you have a local philharmonic, check out their schedule and see if they’re including any women. So many just do not. Then maybe contact them.)

Secondly, I encourage you to always be listening to new things… and MOVING to new things. It wakes up different parts of your brain and bodymind. It’s important. Nostalgia music also plays a part but new stuff is even more important in terms of brain health.

All of that said, today I bring you the work of Trista Hill, who happens to live near me in Columbus (but is someone I’ve been connected to for longer… I think… it’s hard to keep track!).

Trista plays the harp and here is her bandcamp for a project with a cellist. It’s not what you would expect. It’s quite exciting. I never would have thought of the harp this way.

Look to the right hand column and also check out Urban Elegance. (And everything else, of course.)

Next up is Helen Yee, whom I’ve definitely been connected to for many years, including having the opportunity to move with her in classes and a long ago, first attempt at a long distance choreography project.

She is a violinist and composer working in a field that both of us have a hard time putting language too… avant guard? Minimalist? Hmmm…

Here’s her soundcloud.

Let me know if you know of anyone different and exciting in the world of composing.

JoyList: Stuff floating my boat

Are you heading to any music or festivals this summer? We started off this past weekend with our neighborhood ComFest (community arts and music festival). It’s been going on in our park for 51 years.

Obviously, the stilt walker was at our festival. She was one of two. I can’t imagine. Even this bit of height would turn my stomach, but they were so happy and smiley.

Other things floating my boat…

Did you hear about this wacky and amazing science-y discovery that is blowing all the scientists brains this week? The papers were released on the 28th and wow! If you like time and space stuff, check it out.

OH! I have a new video of a super simple and highly effective psoas release that also works, of course, on your diaphragm and your nervous system. Go here and look under “shorts.” It’ll be the first one with me looking way up at the camera. And if you get something out of it, make sure to like, comment, and/or subscribe. (Thank you!)

Speaking of YouTube:

Something new from one of my favorite dance companies.

My favorite creator who talks about her different brain and burnout and how she’s healing that.

Have you ever watched any of the videos by this Chinese creator? She lives in the mountains on her grandparents’ farm and does every freaking thing by hand and traditional methods. Watching her cook or build something is so freaking soothing to me. She also practices traditional arts like calligraphy… just whoa.

For my Butoh loving peeps, here’s a short video of Kauo Ohno (one of the founders) talking about technique and motivation.

For my book lovers, here are a few of my recent faves, but you can always just look at my goodreads.

For specific books:

I’m about 2/3s of the way through Lisa See’s most current book. ANYTHING SHE WRITES is worth your time.

I loved Louise Erdrich’s most recent. She just never misses the mark.

And someone told me to read this Rebecca Solnit quite a while ago. I love her work and am loving this too.

What’s floating YOUR boat?

JoyBody: the collective body

The work we do under the name JoyBody doesn’t mean much if it’s just about our own individual bodies. That’s not even how humans work, right? We’re part of a larger ecosystem… or web. I am because you are. Period.

So I’ll be, here and there, highlighting communities that need our help and direct ways you can help, even just from your seat in front of this screen.

As you know, it’s pride month, and I want to highlight one part of the LGBTQIA+ community in particular: the trans community.

I’m highlighting the trans community, because I know and love some trans people, first and foremost, but secondly because I think their community is the most in need of our help right now. They are under attack in so many new and frightening ways.

I would start by getting more educated about all of this. Here’s a great article that explains the science of sex and gender and how complicated it is.

Here’s a great FAQ about gender and all the different ways one can identify and the issues that can arise (like gender dysphoria).

If you feel like you don’t have a deep enough understanding of these issues, start with what I’ve provided and then don’t be afraid to ask questions. (The sanctuary is a safe place for everyone so feel free to ask there or you can write to me directly.)

From understanding, we need to move on to action. What can we do?

Firstly, look for your own state specific organizations working on these issues. Like here, we have Equality Ohio. I follow them on TikTok to keep track of what’s happening in our state government. (It’s a lot and it’s AWFUL.)

You can always start by simply giving money to these organizations, but you can help by showing up at protests and writing emails and making phone calls. We all have comfort zones and we all have skills we can offer.

If you want to see what’s going on nationally and internationally, check out Outright International. There’s also the Trans Legal Mapping Report.

In the US, there’s the Transgender Law Center, the Equality Federation (which can help you find your state based actions), and the National Center for Transgender Equality.

JoyMoves: the obstacles are the path

“The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Or to put it more succinctly: the obstacles are the path, as I say in the heading. So freaking annoying and so true.

If the obstacles don’t become the path or the way, then you’re resisting the truth and reality of your own life and that, I think, is what we’re actually experiencing when we say things like “I’m stuck… I don’t know what to do next… I have no visions…” or even when we say things like, “I don’t have time.”

The work of the practice is devotion to the obstacles.

If we aren’t devoted to the obstacles, then we’re not devoted to the practice.

(I know… I’m even annoying myself here…)

I’m writing particularly today about your movement practice, but you know that movement is life and therefore all the things we do in our movement practices are just reflections of what’s happening our life and how we’re approaching obstacles. (SO. ANNOYING.)

Here are some simple ways to work with your obstacles instead of allowing them to rob you of the practices that support and rejuvenate you and bring you to your essential nature of joy:

1. Time: THIS ONE IS BIG. Stop telling yourself that you have to move at a certain time and stop thinking that only certain amounts of time "count." Look for opportunities that you're missing because of these stories. For example, when you're waiting on your coffee or tea in the microwave, you can stretch, wiggle, bounce. THINK MICRO MOVEMENT PLAY.

2. Space: stop telling yourself that you need a special space or a certain amount of space. Great movement can happen in the square foot right around your body, in a chair, in the car.

3. Clothing/shoes: this one is also big. You don't have to take the time to change your clothes if that's going to stop you. Do whatever *IN* whatever. (And just free your feet and work barefoot -- if you're not already.) I often work in my jeans because if I have to stop to change, I’m just not going to do it.

4. Finding music: don’t let feeling bored by music stop you. Check out my Spotify and just randomly pick a list, hit shuffle, and move no matter what.

5. Boredom with how you’re moving: this is a big one and it happens to all of us, even me. We all hit points where we just feel like we’re repeating ourselves or nothing is happening that is interesting. This is where my videos can help (which are free) or make sure you’re in the sanctuary (which is free) to ask questions and get inspiration or take a class with me or schedule a one on one.

What other obstacles are you running in to? I would love to help figure out a way to work with them.