I follow Fr. James Martin on Facebook. You might know him because he’s a favorite guest on Stephen Colbert’s show. And he’s written a ton of books. He’s also done a lot of very public work with the LGBTQIA population, even meeting with Pope Francis a couple of times and getting his blessing to continue that work. He is a light, for sure.
And he has a new podcast. So the other day, I was scrolling facebook and I see that the newest podcast is an interview with Sr. Helen Prejean, whom you might recall is the subject of the movie Dead Man Walking. Her work in the anti-death penalty arena is epic. She affected me deeply long ago at the beginning of my attempt to overcome depression, which included my path back to my spiritual traditions.
It’s only because of people like Fr. Martin and Sr. Prejean (and the current pope) that I can stomach my own attraction/connection to (mystical) Catholicism.
Anyway, she pops up on my facebook feed, saying something about the dignity of human life and how it’s lost when we think we can take a life for any reason.
And I was overcome with anger and shame all commingled together.
I have always been ardently anti-death penalty.
There are too many humans on death row who shouldn’t be there and there is too much room for error and racism in the legal system.
Listening to her, I realized how much I have moved away from that belief.
It’s complicated.
There are humans right now on this planet who are committing crimes against humanity, much like those committed during WWII. The trials of those people and the punishment after were just and justified.
But I could hear Sr. Prejean reminding me that to be kept in prison for the rest of your life is also punishment. She has many more arguments against my animal level thoughts and I know she’s right but still I cling to wanting vengeance.
I am tired… I am so tired of people never facing consequences for their actions. Whether that cruelty is happening at the family level or the government level, my brain wants justice.
Then I came across this video I’ve included here and it’s worth your time to watch the whole thing, but some things really stood out and stuck for me.
What fascism actually is
This young woman brought some things to light that I, with all of my studies of Germany and the rise of naziism, have never heard anyone speak about.
She asserts (and I agree with her) that fascism is not a set of beliefs but an identity structure.
So when we try to argue with facts and evidence, those things are seen as an attack on that person’s identity. They literally cannot accept what you’re saying or their sense of self will collapse.
They think they are part of a chosen and “purified” community and that is their safety in a world that is frightening to them. (For a wide variety of reasons but I think for a lot of them it comes down to brain structure and that’s another blog post.)
Where fascism comes from
Fascism can only arise during times of great fear. Germans were starving and they felt humiliated, for example. It’s more complicated in the United States than what I want to write about here, but the fear here is also related to economics and racism.
Fear.
A brain that is always in fear response wires differently. Over time, that brain changes and the way that person perceives the world becomes more fearful.
Fear leads to changed perspective and that leads to more fear and the downward spiral goes on and on.
Fear hurts all of us
But it’s not just people susceptible to the brainwashing of fascism that are affected. All of us are being affected by the daily onslaught of fear.
Our brains are changing and we have to become aware of this so we can fight it.
In that video, one sentence stood out to me: “Fear narrows moral perception.”
My God, I thought, that is what has happened to me.
My brain, being lit on fire with fear over this last year, has changed. My moral perception has narrowed, and in that narrowing, I crave vengeance. I want blood.
That’s not me. That’s fear.
What we can do to correct for this
First and above all, just become aware, right? If I had not watched this video and then seen Sr. Prejean and been triggered into shame, I would not have noticed this was happening. And that is scary in and of itself.
Second, now that I’m aware, I can have a little talk with myself and that has made a big difference already.
But third, we need to take daily actions that fend off the fear, that bolster our empathy.
I am doing more spiritual practices. I’m reading Thomas Merton again and Franciscan thought and Dorothy Day… all the great spiritual thinkers I have long admired and looked to in difficult times.
I am in a process of remembering myself.
(If you’re needing a safe space to talk about your own fears and to express challenges and joys, this is just a reminder that I have a very small private group on Facebook that you can ask to be added to.)
