More Water, Please

Tirta Empul Temple, Bali, a temple to water

My anger is getting way too consuming, and I’m sure I’m not alone but I can feel it doing damage to my body and spirit and mind at this point. So…

I’m a Scorpio. For most of my life, I’ve thought I was a fire sign. I know… whatever. I can be dense.

I sure can ACT like a fire sign. I can be assertive ((cough)). I don’t fear debate or argument. If I feel like someone is being treated unfairly, I come in with guns blazing. I’m protective of people and animals. I want JUSTICE. I don’t hesitate to burn something down that is no longer serving me.

And yet… most of that? Makes me uncomfortable if I am being honest, which I am, because I am. ((ha))

There are too many reasons to get into that explain WHY I am like this but this Fire Me is not my truest self and thus the discomfort.

I am, after all, a WATER sign.

Even if you don’t like the astrology stuff, I am connected to water and always have been.

I’ve had two near drownings but still go back in.

I taught myself to swim in an Olympic sized (and very busy) pool when I was barely six years old and had no adult supervision.

I live on a great lake and visit her multiple times a week. I think about moving but can never get past the idea of not having this giant water presence in my life.

There is this soft, gentle body of water inside my own body that wants very much to be set free. I built a damn around that part of myself long ago — or experiences helped create that dam — and then I set a ring of fire ablaze around all of it.

Right now, as I seem to live and breathe toxic anger and rage over this government, this president, and then this awful handling of this awful virus, I finally feel like I am hitting my tolerance point for heat. I finally can feel that that fire is depriving me of oxygen.

So what to do? Firstly, to release this fiery anger self and second, to welcome back the flow of water.

Even if you haven’t long lived with this kind of destructive anger, you might be feeling it now, and so I thought I’d share some resources I’ll be using to work with water.

Primarily, of course, I’ll be doing things at the lake. Sitting with her, meditating on her beaches, and doing ablution practices when it gets warmer.

But here’s a WATER SALUTATION that I found. Yep, there is one! Who knew!?

I invited the Hindu Goddess Kali into my life many years ago and I wasn’t sorry for it (some people call on her and get a bit more than they bargained for). I’m going to consciously start working with her again. Here’s a decent article that includes some background about Kali and a starter sort of ritual (just writing and meditating) at the end. I approve of the follow up dancing.

And here’s a great pagan sort of simple spell that includes (if possible) a visit to a body of water.

Finally, this is a Sanskrit mantra to the healing powers of water.

I’d love to hear if you try any of this or if you create your own ways of calling forth your water nature.

Helpful Beauty or Shit You Can Check Out to Stop Feeling Insane

We need beauty more than ever right now and so I thought I’d share a list of links for you to peruse and you know… ignore for a few moments that the world feels like it’s falling apart.

Cherry blossoms have to be one of my favorite harbingers of later spring and no one, of course, does them like Japan (photo above). Just looking at photos of Japanese gardens and architecture tends to calm me. So much so that I have a Pinterest board dedicated to it.

And if gardens on the dramatic cliffs of the coast of France are your thing ((ha)), here is a great selection of photos that just made me swoon.

If you’re a rock and gem and crystal nerd like me, you should join this public Facebook group because holy cow!

Need a sound bath, even the LIGHTING of this guy’s videos is soothing. (And remember that you can get distance work done by Nancy Bowden. You can do skype, phone, whatever.)

If you need some new music to dance to or to keep you motivated, check out my Spotify and especially look at my “liked songs.” Play it on shuffle.

If you are interested in the Enneagram and want to laugh and learn simultaneously, check out Abby Howe’s channel. (I’m a 4 and wow… SO FUNNY!)

This doesn’t get old. It made me snort yet again when I got the clip for you. AND his voice is just so damn…soothing.

Oh, my! Everything from Frida Kahlo to Pompeii is covered in some amazing online free virtual tours of current exhibits that none of us can get to. This collection is such a gift of options!

Furthermore, some of the biggest and best museums from all over the planet are offering virtual tours of their collections. I could get lost in these.

Here you can find links to opera, theatre, musicals, KABUKI, and more online for free!

The MoMA is offering free online classes.

And here’s a list of FIVE HUNDRED courses being offered for free by Ivy League schools.

On my YouTube channel (which you could subscribe to), I have a Dance Inspiration playlist. I’ve been collecting these for years now and it’s interesting to see what i used to find compelling compared to now.

Okay… that seems like a good start. ((HA)) This could actually keep you focused on good and beautiful things for a long time to come.

Is there anything you’ve found that you would add?

And don’t forget that you can ask me to add you to my Facebook private group, Embodiment Sanctuary, where we support one another in a private and safe space and where I share ways to deal with all the ick via body and breath practices and JOY.

Also I want to add… all of this is free. IF you are able, please support artists and solo-preneurs whom you know. A lot of us are not eligible for business loans or help (not that there’s a lot out there), and though we’re home, there are ways for us to continue to do our work if we continue to have students and supporters.

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff

During the filming of the grief piece which I’ve still not edited even though my schedule is, well, lighter than ever. (see post below)

What time is it? What day is it? What month are we in? How long have we been in this lockdown thing? When will things go back to “normal?” What is “normal?”

Time has become, for sure, something very wibbly wobbly.

I’ve been pretty much in charge of my own schedule for many years. But I had a SCHEDULE. I even used a planner (what the hell is that?!).

I had places to go, people to meet with, things that had to be done by certain times. I had to GO SOMEWHERE to teach my classes. I would form my day around that and then squeeze in the gym or boxing, walking, coffee and writing, errands.

Now all those markers are gone.

It feels like suddenly being plunged into the middle of the ocean when you’re used to living on the shore and diving in and out when you need or want to.

It’s uncomfortable. It can even be scary.

“WHERE THE HELL DID MY DAY GO? WHAT DID I DO?”

I say that a lot. I don’t like the feeling. It all makes me angry and sad and then lethargic. Then I bounce back and start over, still wondering what day it is.

And you?

Another question: is this feeling temporary (of course it is) and are we actually settling back into more body wisdom based understandings of time and our lives?

Embodiment Sanctuary 6 Week Spring Session: ONLINE and ARCHIVED Classes

Spring Session class registration is now OPEN!

LOCATION:  ONLINE so OPEN GLOBALLY (classes are recorded and archived for a limited time to accommodate different time zones.)

TIME ZONE: I’m in the Eastern U.S. Time Zone. For those of you for whom that might not mean much, I’m in the same time zone as New York City.

PLEASE: Pay attention to the HOW of this written below. I am not your tech person; I am your embodiment guide.

ALSO NOTE: Classes, though online, START ON TIME. You can jump in late, but I won't be waiting.

COST: Drop in rate for all classes is $20. Even if you know you'll miss a class, it's cost effective to sign up for a session.

WATERSPINE YOGA
SUNDAYS, 5:30 to 6:45 PM
April 19, 26 and May 3, 10, 17, 24
COST: $80 for six weeks
Drop in: $20

THIS CLASS WILL TAKE PLACE IN A FACEBOOK PRIVATE GROUP. Classes are RECORDED and left in the group so that you may watch again during the week or watch when you can.

WaterSpine Yoga will take you deeply into your center and will help you to unleash the power and beauty and flow of your spine. Ultimately the power and beauty and flow of your spine will spill over into your entire life.

WaterSpine Yoga is elemental and primal and natural. It’s breath based and always begins with the breath linking one to all. Breath is the key.

REGISTER AND PAY HERE

EMBODIMENT Exploration
MONDAYS, 5:30 to 6:30 PM
April 20, 27 and May 4, 11, 18, 25
COST: $80 for six weeks
Drop in: $20

EMBODIMENT Exploration classes take place on SKYPE. It's free and it's easy so get on there and find me at Christineserfozo@gmail.com THEN I will place you in a "group call." I use skype so that we can see each other for these classes.

This work is a slow and meditative dive into your body to access its strength, resilience, and wisdom. I combine all of my studies of many forms of dance, Japanese Butoh, somatics therapy, trauma and the body, and so much more to guide you into another layer of self-knowing and self-expression.

No dance background necessary. No anything background necessary. Do you have a body? Then you're ready for this work. No certain TYPE of body necessary. No level of ability necessary.

If you can breathe, you can do this work and you can benefit from it.

REGISTER AND PAY HERE

EMBODIMENT Exploration
THURSDAYS, 5:30 to 6:30 PM
April 23, 30 and May 7, 14, 21, 28
COST: $80 for six weeks
Drop in: $20

EMBODIMENT Exploration classes take place on SKYPE. It's free and it's easy so get on there and find me at Christineserfozo@gmail.com THEN I will place you in a "group call." I use skype so that we can see each other for these classes.

This work is a slow and meditative dive into your body to access its strength, resilience, and wisdom. I combine all of my studies of many forms of dance, Japanese Butoh, somatics therapy, trauma and the body, and so much more to guide you into another layer of self-knowing and self-expression.

No dance background necessary. No anything background necessary. Do you have a body? Then you're ready for this work. No certain TYPE of body necessary. No level of ability necessary.

If you can breathe, you can do this work and you can benefit from it.

REGISTER AND PAY HERE

MELTDOWN!

I'm quite certain I'm not alone...

Thursday was rough. I had a pretty big panic/anxiety meltdown, and I felt paralyzed by it. I have a great helper, who knows how to talk to me, but I am still the one who has to figure out how to rise up out of that quicksand and Thursday...I felt pretty damn stuck in it.

During such a meltdown, of course, everything gets exaggerated and nothing feels like it could possibly help.

All the tools in your toolbox suddenly seem like GIANT JOKES existing only to prove how awful you are or how little hope there is in the world.

Eventually I dragged myself off the bed.

During times like this, even *I* CANNOT bring myself to dance. It's THE tool, but even I just cannot.

BUT I can do other smaller things. If I can get myself to start with the idea of just 5 minutes of pilates -- something concrete and directed -- that can turn into so much more as the healthy brain chemistry starts to reassert itself.

Thursday, that was exactly what happened. I started with a video of 25 minutes of pilates (with no promise that I would finish).

Why a video? I need someone else guiding me; I can't possibly do this myself when I am feeling that badly.

From there, I moved onto a 10 minute core video.

THEN, only then, after 35 minutes of soaking my brain in some endorphins, was I able to approach some free movement, and even for that, I stayed on the floor.

I stayed on the floor and focused on my breathing and waiting and allowing and noticing.

The very basic principles of what I teach.

And as always, quite suddenly, I was fascinated by the workings of this body.

And as always, quite suddenly, I was out of the asshole brain and completely in the whole of myself.

Because here's the thing: your brain is just ONE ORGAN.

When we rely on it exclusively, we easily become rather dumb.

When we dive into the entirety of ourselves and tap into the wisdom of the full body ecosystem... that is the pathway out.

The Bullshit of Categories

There are a few different versions of this going around, but it doesn’t matter. They’re all misleading and have the potential to shame and you know how I feel about things that shame.

To think that a human can reside in ONE ZONE is ridiculous in the best of times.

To paraphrase Whitman, we contain multitudes.

At any one moment, part of me could be feeling fear around this pandemic while another part of me is busily diving back into a spiritual practice that is giving me hope and sustenance.

To think that we can move from one to the next and then to the next is just a JOKE.

It’s like that person that says to me, “Well, I’m pretty much done with the lower chakras and really working on my third eye and my crown.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That person is in for a crash or will live in spiritual bypassing, one of the least spiritual places of all, for a very long time.

My overall point being: if you see things like this, yes, they might be helpful in showing you some potential red flags or challenges or they might help you see where your’e doing a good job, but other than that, pass on by.

You are doing GREAT.

A Positive Practice for Difficult Times

I feel like, if we took this quote seriously, if we really dug into what this quote is asking of us… I know this will sound like hyperbole but it’s not… I believe this could heal the whole damn world.

We need a change in perspective, or when this virus crisis is over, we will simply fall back to the way things were. And the way things were was not working.

But we can’t make external, societal changes without changing how we work on the inside.

We need a change in perspective.

Changing the way we work on the inside is the only way we’ll have a clue as to how we can change the outside.

Otherwise we are lost.

For now, let’s focus on what we love about ourselves and let’s follow that trail of bread crumbs.

The main thing I love about myself is my ability to be totally and completely FASCINATED by and in awe of life and learning.

So for right now, I’m going to deep dive back into my tantra studies that I lost track of in all the world-level anxiety. I’m also going to deep dive even more into my movement work which is somehow the one thing that has been really GOOD right now… at a time when it feels difficult to do much of anything.

How about you?

This Time is What You Practice For

Now we cannot distract ourselves and it might be proving difficult. But this is an opportunity to notice your pain, your grief, your challenges... all the things that have been asking for your attention but have been easier to ignore until this.

This is the practice. This is what we do every time we stand vulnerable to a piece of music or to the silence and we breathe and we wait. We wait for the body to speak; we wait for a truthful expression; we wait for the uncomfortable impulse and then we follow it, with fascination, to see where it might lead us.

It will always be to somewhere more interesting than where comfort takes us. Always.